Reincarnated as a Dragon With a Game System and a Strange Cheat

Chapter Two: Jesus did not take the wheel and there are too many dragons

Turns out Jesus did not take the wheel.

I don't even think Jesus existed in this world or maybe it's too early in time for his birth? Wait... Are we in B.C or A.D? Maybe I'll get to meet Jesus... We can have a nice long chat about atheism and his view on us gay sinners.

Did I just admit to being gay? I AM MOVING UP IN THE WORLD. Ares would be so proud.

"IT WAS BORN? THE EGG WASN'T ACTUALLY DEAD? I didn't lose any of my children" Oh shit, here comes dat obsessive mother dragon. Ignoring the giant dragon that was currently staring at me with his freaky eyeballs, I looked to the direction of where the booming voice came from and my eyes widened in even more fear as I saw a stampede of dragons thumping towards me.

I stood still, watching the horde come closer and closer and closer and closer... And that stupid big ass dragon kept staring at me with his crusty, white eyes. Like boy, can you not do anything to stop your wife and children?

All men are useless.

Just as the big silver mummy dragon reached out her giant, sharp as hell claw, big terrifying daddy reacted and jumped (yes, a dragon with wings jumped) backwards and pulled me right against his serpent scales, hissing at his wife and children

What the fuck dude, they're your family and you're treating them like trash?

"Give me my child Asmodeus or I'll maul you!" Look at this angry momma, she certainly isn't approving off the equally pissed-off daddy. Women really are fearless; I gotta give 'em respect for that. "I'm serious you scaly bastard, if you don't give him over I'll kill you, father or not!" This family needs to go to church and connect with God, I'm sure their relationship is very damaged with him.

Just don't try to make a relationship with Ares — that shit is a bad idea. A very bad idea. One that will cost you your life. Don't believe me? Too bad, I'm the perfect example of why you shouldn't. I died from having sex with the man for gods sake.

I should sprinkle some holy water on myself...

Is there a church in this world? Wait, that's a stupid question. OF COURSE, THERE'S A CHURCH. What fantasy world would be complete without a secretly evil 'holy' church? Exactly, NONE.

"No Marie, I won't give him to you! This is MY baby, not yours!" Tf? Did you pop me out your ass or something? Yeah, got nothing to say back you scary scaly bastard. Stupid male chauvinist thinks he can give birth — pathetic.

Marie: ... Give my baby back you big dumb bastard

The baby dragons (that were still too big): ... We have a retarded father

Asmodeus: *hiss*

Unnamed newborn (me): I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!!!

Marie took off like Usain Bolt, rushing towards us with an evil gleam in her eyes. I shut my eyes, trying to block out the inevitable death scene that will happen.

Through my magnificent ears (do dragons even have ears?) I heard a dragon's screeching roar noise thingy. Then I heard some weird strange noises and felt the light burning my shut eyes.

"MAMMA MIA, IT BURNSSSSS!!! I DON'T WANNA GO TO HEAVEN NO MORE!" My speech only came out as little strange gurgles. I get I'm a baby but I'm meant to be fierce like Beyoncé so why the heck do my words come out as kawaii noises? Explain Ares! 

"Open your eyes baby, this will all be yours..." Angry demon dragon spoke up, his voice no longer aggressive as it had been speaking to his wife. They should see a family therapist, a lot of relationships are broken because of the little rats that are known as children.

Following his instructions, I opened my eyes and was amazed.

I feel like I'm in a fantasy world it was that pretty.

Wait, I am in a fantasy world.

That explains everything.

There were tall mountains, lush forests, pretty sparkly lakes and a load of magical animals everywhere.I can't even describe how pretty and magical it was. Basically, it was even better looking than that bitch Jenny. And she's a pretty good looking chicken. 

Whenever someone tried to get in dragon daddy's way, he would scorch them or growl and cause them to run away with their tail between their legs. Apparently, he was like the supreme leader of all these beasts. Make sense since he's a dragoon and level 980. Like what the flip, how does one get that high? Plus, I'm pretty sure the highest level you can get is 1000 so... 

He's pretty OP. Maybe I'll grow as OP as him one day. Ooo, I can train without worry having such a strong dragon protect my skinny scaley ass. I'm so gonna offend every one of these motherfuckers and it's gonna be great.

It took a while of nice scenery before we landed on the tallest goddamn mountain in this range. Even though this place was huge and could fit a whole dwarven empire (and Smaug) inside, there was just a big ass tower.

What idiot puts a tower in the middle of a mountain with magical beasts everywhere? Whoever built this that is.

"Do you like your new home baby?" Welp, guess we found said idiot.

Big dragon boy somehow managed to unclaw me (see what I did there?) and instead held me with his unusually sharp teeth. Snake? Please, this bitch reminds me of a crocodile.

He then moved to place me through the large open window (god knows how he got his big ass mouth through there). I looked around and decided I didn't like the place.

"Take me out!" My words came out as cute lil gurgles again. Oh great, hello language barrier.

"No baby, you have to stay here. It's not safe out there, you'll get hurt! Daddy knows best so listen to your daddy, okay?"

Well fuck, is my name Rapunzel or what?

~~*~~

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!

Pretty boring chappie but get used to them because not every chapter can be funky o3o

I'm not sure when chapter fourteen of RIBL (Reincarnated Into a BL Otome Game, do you like the name?) will be updated since it is Easter and I am being forced to go to the beach even tho it's that time of the month and I won't go swimming... Smh.

tfw you be stuffing in references, left right and centre.