The Beta's Mate

7.

My room was dark, there was no light on anywhere and the window was closed, the curtains too. The entire room felt heavy, as did my heart as I laid in bed, on the same spot I had been in for the past two days. 

"Ariana, you need to eat" Janine's voice came through the door, and I got a strange flashback to when Janine first joined our pack. She had locked herself in a room and refused to open, as I had done now. It was almost comical how similar our situations were, both of us running from something, love. 

"There's no use." It was Magnus' voice this time. He sounded upset, and I knew it was because I refused to cooperate with anyone. "She's done this before, it takes her a long time to get out of it". Magnus had a hand on Janine's shoulder, as if to comfort her in a gentle way. It was something he used to do to me, whenever I would let him in. 

I couldn't let him in now though, I couldn't bare his 

My heart felt heavy, or rather, my chest,  and I couldn't find it in myself to do anything but lay in bed. I sighed, finding comfort in the dark room I had enclosed myself in and stared up at the wall. 

It felt as if something inside me had decided to shut down. Somehow, I couldn't think, my mind completely blank, yet, I had so much to think about. I wasn't sure why, and it frustrated me how incapable I felt. 

I couldn't will myself to think, and the worst part was that I could not will myself to feel either. 

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Author's note: 

Hey! Hope everyone has had a good day! :) 

This chapter is slightly dark, and I realise I'm not the best at writing about depression, I find it to be quite a hard theme to explain. Please, if you are dealing with something similar to this, please, talk to someone. It is one of the most important things to do. 

Love, Elise <3