Tevun-Krus #55 - May The 4th Be With You: The Space Opera Special

The Death of His Holiness - A Short Story by @AngusEcrivain

The future, and the population of Earth grows exponentially thanks to a faulty gene gone unnoticed. By the time anyone does notice it's too late, as Earth is no longer capable of sustaining a population rising at an annual rate of just under a billion. Women are giving birth to litters of seven or eight healthy children at a time.

The future, and Mankind has no choice but to look to the stars, to find a new home more suited to such rapidly growing numbers.

The future, and within the confines of this new, Barred Spiral Galaxy with its thousands of habitable worlds and the Supermassive Black Hole at its centre spinning as near to the speed of light as makes no difference, mankind is not alone...

Shoulda' Taken the Hand-Job

Trixi grimaced, gobbing a mouthful of blood and more than a few tooth fragments to the dusty ground. Her right eye was swollen almost completely shut whilst her left arm hung limply at her side for her shoulder was not merely dislocated but the joint had popped completely free from its socket and as such, there looked to be an incredibly odd growth, somewhat akin to Quasimodo's hunchback.

"Y'know, you'd at least have got a hand-job if you n' your pals hadn't been such dicks." She paused, wincing in pain as she attempted to roll her neck more than a few inches.

"But no. Figured you all could take advantage of the sweet n' innocent girl sat drinking in the corner on her own, didn't you?" She glanced at the unconscious men scattered upon the ground around her.

"Well your pals found out just how fucking sweet and innocent I am. Now it's your turn so c'mon, n' give me a fucking kiss."

With deceptive speed for such a large man he covered the ground to her quickly and swung his ham of a fist. Trixi caught it in her one good hand though, and squeezed with such force the man dropped towards his knees in pain. He did not get there, however, for no sooner was he at head height the far smaller girl drove her forehead into the bridge of his nose which itself exploded with a crack that echoed off the ramshackle buildings dotted around the vicinity and he too fell to the ground, just as unconscious as his friends.

It was at that point, of course, that the authorities turned up. Trixi rolled her eyes and cursed silently beneath her breath, knowing full well they would have been keeping out of sight, watching and waiting to arrest whomever emerged from the brawl victorious.

"You're having a fucking laugh, aren't you?" she said as the two uniformed, armed and armoured officers, made their approach. She was absolutely certain she could take both down with relative ease, at least that would definitely be the case had they not got their weapons aimed at her. Trixi was quick, but she was pretty sure dodging bullets was harder than it sounded.

"You're gonna' wanna' come quietly, nice an' peaceful, like." They were pretty much identical as far as Trixi could tell, though the one who spoke was a good two or three inches taller than his companion. "Come spend the night as a guest of His Holiness, get your shoulder looked at an' taken care of, an' you'll be sentenced in the mornin'."

"See, that bit about being sentenced doesn't sound like much fun," she replied with a toothy, bloody grin. "An' besides, he ain't my Holiness. Bloke's an absolute bollock an' from what I've seen, there's more humanity in my left tit than he has in any part of his body you care to mention."

Trixi's words riled the uniformed man and he went to knock her about the head with the butt of his rifle. She quickly altered her stance and rather than her skull the blow went straight into her shoulder and having positioned herself in such a way, this resulted in her shoulder painfully going back into place.