The Sound of Silence (RusCan)

Chapter 10: Finally Free

(Trigger Warning: Self Harm)

Ivan woke up the next morning, still shocked to see Matthew in his arms. He struggled to believe that it wasn't a dream. He smiled at the beautiful country besides him. He ran a hand gently through Matthew's now messy hair. He finally felt content. Though their relationship was just budding, Ivan knew that they had something special. A spark of love that told them they were meant for one another.

Matthew began to wake up, he opened his eyes to see Ivan smiling at him. He smiled back. He cuddled closer to his new lover. "Goodmorning.."

"Goodmorning Matthew." Ivan chuckled softly. "Why don't we get up. I can make breakfast if you want."

Matthew nodded as Ivan gently got up. Matthew stood up slowly as Ivan gently took his wrist in his hand. Matthew quickly pulled his wrist away.

"Matthew?" Ivan was confused. Had he done something wrong?

"Oh...I'm sorry..." Matthew looked down.

"Is something wrong?" Ivan knelt down to meet Matthew's gaze.

"I have some deep scars that derive from being alone..."

Ivan got the message, taking Matthew's hand gently. "You don't do it anymore do you?"

"Not recently. I was worried you'd be upset about it."

"I thought I had hurt you when you pulled away..."

"I'm sorry, it was reflex. I've never told anyone because they didn't care. They say it's for attention." Tears started to fall from Matthew's eyes.

"And what if I did want attention? It's not like I got it anyway!! It's not like they cared either way! If I died any day of the week, nobody would've cared! Not my brother, not Arthur, not even Papa! Nobody cared, ever! What else was I to do? I could never seek held. It trapped me. The feeling that I needed that blade. It trapped me in a prison until my life was an endless cycle of feeling bad for myself. I ignored it for oh so long. Until I gave in, then I could never go back. The blade was my only friend. The blade listened to me, it was there when nobody else was. It helped free me from my frustration, while it trapped me in its cage. Like an addiction. It trapped me and I couldn't escape."

Matthew collapsed into Ivan's arms.

Ivan held him tight, comforting his distraught lover.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm not mad, and I never will be. You don't need to suffer any longer. I'm right here for you 'till the end of time. I will never leave you. I will never forget you. And I will never stop loving you. I will protect you until my final breath. That is a promise, a vow. I will never let you get hurt again. You are free, you will forever be free. No more chains, no more darkness. You are free."

He kissed Matthew's damp cheek. Nuzzling him gently.

Matthew hugged him tightly, calming down as he felt the weight of galaxies lifted from his lithe shoulders.

"I'm finally free..."

Ivan nodded, smiling at him gently. Ivan slowly brought Matthew back to his feet. Matthew hugged him tightly, balancing himself on his feet.

"How about I make you breakfast now, anything you desire, it's yours." Ivan smiled, holding his hand.

Matthew nodded, slowly smiling back, "Pancakes?"

"I think I can do that," Ivan chuckled. He lead Matthew to the kitchen, showing him to a barstool at the large island in the center of his kitchen. He started to cook the pancakes for Matthew.

Matthew took off his sweatshirt, leaving him in a white t-shirt. Then he remembered something. He got up and ran into the other room. Ivan was confused but waited for Matthew's return. Matthew ran back in with a bottle of maple syrup.

Ivan chuckled, "how'd you get that on the airplane?"

"I just did." Matthew giggled.

"Alright then!" Ivan smiled.

He finished the pancakes, giving two to Matthew and two to himself. "Hopefully I did it right, I've only seen the recipe once."

"They look great," Matthew dumped a generous amount of maple syrup on it before taking a bite. "It is great. How did you learn to make my pancakes?"

"I just did," Ivan smirked.

Matthew giggled, "alright then!"

The two laughed and talked for the entirety of breakfast. They learned a lot about each other. They got to know one another as more than friends. Building from the ground up. They already knew they loved each other romantically. Now it was time to build the base of their budding relationship.