Pointed Gun

A Damn Fool.

Syncear

NOT MANY words could describe the emotions I went through. Emptiness, confusion, and destress being the very few plucked from my vocabulary. Even then, none of those replicated clearly just how shitty I actually felt.

After undergoing not only one close call, but two faithful ones with death in a matter of a week had put my mind into a different perspective. The way I'd lived my little slice of life before could never compare to the new world that opened up then dropped me dead on my neck.

What if all of it is just a dream? What if I'm dreaming?

Not the healthiest way to think, but it appeared to be the only way my mind cared to fit together the pieces. I guess it was easier than finding the truth behind the madness. Block it all out until it goes away. Pretend it never happened.

How the hell can I justify my life?

In my hands, I clutched the necklace. Years after Boston disappeared into the night and long after I wanted to. Once again he trusted me enough to remain a good girl and stay put.

I managed before to break the barrier between the outside world and this house. I managed to free myself and wound up trapped in the prison of my mind because of someone's drug without even knowing it until I found out the hard way.

My not so clever plan could've gotten me killed.

I sighed away the thoughts of before, of then, of tomorrow, none of them as heavy on my chest or mind like they used to. The only thing to capture my mental being the necklace, nothing more. Not Boston, nor Ryder for whatever reason I'd be thinking about him.

Why would I be thinking about him?

But the tracking devise infused diamond necklace that glistened its hello to me as it wrapped snugly around my index finger as if it belonged there forever. Constantly reminding me of its endless protection and my never-ending nightmare.

Is it terrible of me to actually want to wear it? To truly be grateful for what it'd done for me?

Not when the possibilities of the worst still lingered. All I could think about was what could've happened but that it didn't.

How lucky I actually am.

To finally get a clear eye full of the blinking device on the back, and my gut did a summer salt. To think this stupid thing really saved me. If I would've tossed it out of that window a second sooner, who knows what deeper grave I would've dug myself.

Adam was the asshole I should've watched out for all along. Someone that this necklace was designed to protect me against. And somehow, I gazed right past it.

Boston saved my life and strangely I felt it wouldn't be the last time with the way things were looking. Not to mention that psycho ex of his spawning out of thin air and having that look of many unspoken promises.

Fact of the matter is, she scared me. I didn't care what I might've said before. . .I was lying. I'm a liar.

Will I ever get a clear understanding of what Boston actually did besides spending hours of the day pestering me and the other half doing whatever, wherever. Not that I would ask anytime soon. I would have to care enough to. But, If the conversation ever came to it, then maybe it could be something to talk about. But until that dreaded day, I could honestly care less.

Enough of this sad little girl spending her punishment locked in a room. If it wanted to spend the rest of my days in torture, I would already be dead. So why do any of that when there was an adorably sweet and innocent puppy dog face waiting for me downstairs?