habits of my heart (h.s.)

eleven

Sneaking into the loft at seven AM the next morning felt eerily similar to the times I used to sneak back into my house in high school. This time, though, I wasn't sure why I had to be sneaking out--I wasn't breaking any rules. I wasn't one to believe in the walk of shame, either, and yet I still tried to creep into my room as silently as possible.

Unfortunately, I ended up bumping straight into the one person I wanted to avoid the most--Harry.

I could tell that he was on his way out for school, but he looked like he had been up for hours. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair, which was usually kept neat, was messier than usual. Either way, when he noticed me trying to sneak into his room, he called out my name. "Alyson?"

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second before turning around to face him. I was about to tease him for the coffee stain on his shirt, but then I remembered that I was angry at him, and I made sure there was no vulnerability on my expression. Instead, I stared at him with a blank expression and said, "Hey."

"Did you just get home?" Harry asked me. I could tell that he was trying to keep his voice casual. It wasn't working.

I nodded my head. "Yup. Late night." I made sure to make every word sound like a punch. I didn't think the fact that I had spent the night at Roger's would impact him too much, but I also wanted him to know that I wasn't forgiving him just yet.

Harry blinked a few times before saying, "Oh. Well. Congratulations on your first one night stand, I guess." I could see his cheeks burning bright red as he tried not to cringe at what he'd just said.

I was about to agree with him, because up until now, I had been thinking of Roger as just that--a one night stand. Our date hadn't gone bad, per se, but there was no spark. He had agreed with practically everything I said, and he hadn't made me laugh once. He was a nice guy, but....I didn't want him. I wasn't going to tell Harry that, though. Instead, I found myself saying, "Actually, I don't think it was a one night stand."

I couldn't help but notice the way his expression lit up at my words. "You, uh....you didn't have sex with him?" he asked nervously, fidgeting slightly.

I made sure to look directly at him when I said, "No, we had sex. We definitely had sex. I just don't think it's going to be a one time thing, that's all."

Harry coughed nervously. "Really? That's, um, great, Alyson."

"Mhm," I said before turning away from him and walking into my room.

I had thought that was going to be the end of our conversation. However, he quickly followed me and stood in my doorway before I could shut it. I rolled my eyes and snapped, "Yes?"

"Look, Alyson, the shit that I said last night....it wasn't true," Harry said. "I'm really sorry."

I crossed my arms before asking, "Why would you say if it wasn't true? I never pegged you for a liar."

He sighed before saying, "I swear to God, I didn't mean any of it. I was hungover and confused about what happened with Anna. You were only trying to be nice, but I'm the biggest dick in the world, and I lashed out at you. I'm sorry."

I glanced up at him through my eyelashes. "You really hurt my feelings."

Harry cautiously placed a hand on my arm before saying, "I know. It was a shitty thing to say, and I knew that, but I said it anyway. I just....I like being your friend and I don't want to lose that, okay?"

I stared at his hand on my arm for a second before sighing. "Chill out, you dummy, I'm not going to stop being your friend or anything. You just have to make it up to me."