habits of my heart (h.s.)

twenty-three

The next morning, I woke up before Harry.

He was sleeping soundly beside me, and he looked too peaceful for me to wake him. I had never actually woken up beside him, since the two of us had never slept in the same room after hooking up. I looked at his body stretched out beside me, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, and swallowed. Hoped this wasn't the last time I would ever wake up to this view.

I attempted to inch out of his grip to check the time on my phone, but it was too far, and his grasp around my waist was rock solid. I had to settle for checking his phone, which was lying right next to me on the bedside table. I grabbed it, but I was met with an unanticipated message on the screen.

It was from Anna.

i had a lot of fun the other night <3 when can i see you again? i miss uuu

Suddenly, I felt like I might be sick.

My mind instantly flashed back to what he had said to me last night before passing out: "I miss you. You're right next to me, but I miss you so much, baby."

It had probably been the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me. And yet there were those same words on the screen, from Anna to him, and all of a sudden, it didn't feel romantic anymore. It felt like the polar opposite. I knew I needed to get out of there, and so, before I could start crying, I made my way out of his grip and stepped out of the bed. He stirred slightly, but thankfully, he didn't wake up.

I took one last look at Harry's sleeping form, and then walked out of his bedroom.

I hadn't had to sneak around in so long that I forgot that Niall and Natasha hadn't left the apartment yet. I could hear them in the kitchen, arguing about who knows what, and I quickly dashed into my room across the hall before either of them could see me. My heart was pounding when I managed to slip by unnoticed, quickly shutting the door behind me. 

Pulling Harry's T-shirt off my body was harder than I expected it to be. I could still feel his touch all over my skin, even when I had tossed the shirt into the hamper. My cheeks heated up as my mind filled with memories of everything he had said to me last night--everything he had done to me last night. Everything I had done to him last night, even though Anna was back into his life.

I should have taken what Niall said more seriously, how he had ran into her at the store and how she'd given him Harry's sweater. That should have been my warning sign, my message that I should have stayed away. The two of us had ended things for a reason. I had been (somewhat) confident in that decision, and yet the second he so much as looked at me, I was a goner. 

Last night, it had felt like he was a goner for me too.

I joined Niall and Natasha in the kitchen for breakfast a few minutes later. They both exchanged a knowing glance when they saw me, and for a moment, I was scared they might have found out. Had they somehow seen us last night? We hadn't actually done anything at the party, so I'd assumed that we were in the clear.

"So, you and Harry left Kevin's early last night," Natasha said slowly, a sly smirk curling up the corner of her lips. "I guess you guys are back on speaking terms then."

"Okay, first of all, we were never not on speaking terms," I lied. "And second of all, it's not what you think it is. Don't be gross."

"How is that gross, Aly?" Niall grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at me. "Are you saying you haven't thought about it before?"

I rolled my eyes. He could be such a little shit sometimes. Natasha didn't know about my so-called crush on Harry, but I assumed she would soon, what with the subtle "hints" Niall was dropping. "Nope." Another lie. "Can you guys just let it go?"