habits of my heart (h.s.)

nineteen

Living with my brother was....stressful to say the least. Not only was it stressful, but it also meant many things. Firstly, now Harry and I had one extra person to avoid being...intimate in front of. Yes, Adam already knew about us, but I was pretty sure if he caught us in a compromising position one more time, that would set him off, and just like that, Niall and Natasha would find out.

Secondly, Adam's comments had clearly gotten to Harry's head, because he was not as confident about our relationship as he had been before. Which brought me to my third point: I wasn't even sure if we could call it a relationship at this point.

I knew Harry liked me. I wasn't sure how much, per se, but I knew it was a good amount. He knew I liked him. Everything else? Not so much. We hadn't had the relationship talk, and I was too nervous to ask him. He had never even mentioned the word girlfriend to me, and the one time I'd tried to bring it up, Niall had walked in, which ended the conversation before it could even really begin.

We were in a weird stage in between friends with benefits and a proper relationship. He wasn't just my fuck buddy, but he wasn't my boyfriend either. I had no idea what to consider him, and my brother's constant pestering about it definitely wasn't helping matters.

"So, has he asked you to be his girlfriend yet?" Adam asked, glancing up from his phone. The two of us were the only people at the table, but that didn't mean I was comfortable with how nonchalantly he was asking the question.

"Lower your voice!" I hissed. "Someone could come in at any second."

My brother raised an eyebrow before asking, "Who are you more nervous about hearing, Harry or one of your other friends?"

"What do you think?" I rolled my eyes as if he couldn't have asked a more stupid question, but deep down, I wasn't so sure. "We're keeping this a secret for a reason, Adam."

"How long has it been now? A month?"

I narrowed my eyes before reminding him, "If it's been a month, then that means you've officially been here for way too long. When are you going to find your own place?"

Adam shook his head, but I knew he wasn't pissed. In fact, I could see a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, which only made me more annoyed. "Why do you want to get rid of me so fast?" he whined. "I'm your brother."

"That's exactly why I want to get rid of you!" I exclaimed. "You're driving me crazy! And frankly, you're driving a wedge between Harry and I."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Maybe that's exactly what I want."

"Fuck off, Adam," I snapped. "This whole protective big brother thing is getting old. I'm an adult."

"I was kidding," he defended himself, but I wasn't so sure. "That wedge probably has a lot more to do with your boyfriend--sorry, I wasn't sure what other word to use--than with me."

I crossed my arms, ready to end the conversation, but I couldn't keep myself from asking, "What are you talking about?"

"You two have been doing this....I dunno, this thing for what, a month now?" Adam asked. I nodded my head, and he continued, "Then why hasn't he asked you to be his girlfriend yet? I mean, there's gotta be something else going on with the guy. Are you sure there isn't anybody else?"

My eyes unwillingly began to burn at his question, and I quickly attempted to blink away the tears before he noticed. "No. Of course not. I'm not questioning his feelings for me."

"Okay, okay, but....are you sure? No crazy ex-girlfriend? No--"

"He does have an ex," I admitted. "But they broke up, like, six months ago, I think. She used to live here."