FO4 | Book 1: Bombs on Monday Morning ✔️

Ch 23: An Eye for an Eye

When I came to, I found myself in front of the old CIT ruins. I checked my Pip-Boy for directions and trudged along the road. As I traveled, I found myself having intrusive thoughts of willingly walking unarmed into a Super Mutant camp or drowning myself in the river.

Despite my depression, I knew I couldn't end it here. Not now. Not yet. There were people I still owed favors to, loose ends I needed to tie up, and people who would be upset if I didn't return. or at least, I liked to think there were people like that in my life.

Thinking of favors reminded me of Virgil and his serum. There's one more broken promise...

During the time I spent walking back to Sanctuary, I went into bouts of crying, silence, wailing, incomprehensible mumbling, and deranged laughter. Each step I took was becoming heavier and heavier. It was like there was no end to the road. The sun beat down on my back and nearly cooked me in my leather armor. I hadn't a drop of water on me.

Little di I know, there were already hostile Gen-2 Synths positioned inside a broken-down pharmacy building. I had to fight off three of them and miraculously succeeded in my distraught state with only nicks and scrapes from the lasers. This was Shaun's warning. This was him showing me that he meant what he said.

I took a new route this time, not because I was feeling adventurous, but because I stopped checking the route on my Pip-Boy after a while and just roamed around. I passed up Lexington Apartments and had a run-in with some raiders. I made it out with bruises mostly. I stopped by some other placed called Mystic Pines, an old nursing home. There were skeletons of admitted prewar patients still lying in their beds. I searched everwhere for water, Nuka-Cola, anything, but I had no luck. I made it out with a tube of Wonderglue and an inhaler of Jet.

I picked up the glue for Sturges and the Jet for Hancock, and part of me even wondered why I did that. Why did I still care enough, even after everything, to think of others? Maybe I wasn't as lost as I thought.

It was dark when I arrived home. It had just started sprinkling as I made it over the bridge to Sanctuary. Two of our lookouts let me through the gate, shocked that I was even still alive.

I found Preston, MacCready, and Hancock sitting outside the workshop with Sturges. They were all doing something to keep them occupied — fidgety things like cleaning their weapons, flipping bottle caps into the air. They had a fire going in a barrel that someone had dragged in front of the workshop. They all looked restless.

I waved weakly at them, and they all jumped up and swarmed me in the middle of the street. My ears were filled with questions and praises, but I honestly didn't feel like I could physically answer them. When they caught on that something was wrong, they got quiet.

I just took the holotape out of my pocket and handed it to Sturges. "Here's that holotape you gave me. Full of data. I hope."

He took it and put it in his back pocket, but he never took his eyes off me. "Well, alright... I guess I'll start diggin' into this and see if I can make heads or tails of it. You... alright?"

"Don't... make me answer that," I muttered, already on the verge of tears. My eyes hurt enough already from all the crying I had done. I knew if I spoke, I would break into a million pieces.

I started to walk away, but MacCready grabbed my shoulder and stopped me. "Where's Shaun?" he asked in a hushed voice.

He wasn't the only one expecting an answer. All eight eyes were on me, curious, suspenseful. I just shook my head. And cried. Oh, how I cried. I could feel how swollen my eyes were. I didn't have the strength to explain anything.

They left me alone as I walked to my house and crawled my way into bed, fully clothed, armor on. I just wanted to die.

Codsworth followed me into the bedroom from the kitchen, catering all the way. "Oh, Mum, I'm so happy you made it home in one piece! I — Oh, dear, are you all right? What's wrong, Mum?"