Stop The Endless Chase

Prologue

Trust is the hardest thing to find but easiest thing to lose.

I stared at my Frappuccino in front of me and played it using my right thumb. I'm in starbucks here at Greenbelt and waiting for Charmaine. The mall was about to close but I don't care. All I need is to talk to her and clear things out.

Only God knows how I badly want to bitch slap her but Mama didn't raised me up to be something like that, either Papa.

I sighed heavily at the realization of how playful life can be. In this world where cruelty is over-reaching, I learned that we all need to be independent. We shouldn't let our emotions dictate us all the time and we need to know on how to trust less.

Ni minsan, hindi ko inakala na aabot sa ganito ang lahat. Ni minsan, hindi ko naisip na kung sino pa ang pinagkakatiwalaan natin ng sobra ay sila pang mananakit sa atin pagkatalikod natin.

Trust is the hardest thing to find nowadays, but at the same time, it's the easiest thing to lose. And as I lost everything, I don't think I can trust again. But I promised myself that this would be the very last time.

Umayos ako sa pagkakaupo nang makita si Charmaine na papasok ng Starbucks. She's so pretty. It's not that I'm putting myself down but compared to her, I am completely nothing and it's obvious.

"Hey..." She greeted in a low kind voice with her innocent look as she helped herself sit in front of me.

If only I didn't know what she have done then I might think that she's really kind and innocent. But I knew better.

"Do you really love DJ?" I asked straight forwardly.

This is the main reason why I wanted to talk to her anyway. I just want to make sure that I'll leave DJ with the person who will love him wholeheartedly.

Napasinghap si Charmaine sa narinig bago siya marahang tumango "Yes." She answered in a low voice. I laughed sarcastically and shook my head.

"Obviously, you do." I said with a bit of sarcasm, "You'll never do nasty things to separate us if not, right?" but she didn't respond, I flashed her smile as a sign of defeat, "I know what you did when I was still in Paris, Charmaine. But don't worry, because unlike you, I am not that desperate to have DJ with me. Well, I was." I added trying hard not to sound bitter, but I know that I miserably failed.

"I... I don't know what you are talking about, Kath."

"Stop playing innocent now, Charmaine. Calvin already told me everything. Huwag kang mag-alala dahil mananatiling sikreto ang ginawa mo kasi aalis na ako, wala akong kahit anong sasabihin kay DJ," I replied. Still, she didn't respond, "Alam mo, kung hindi ka lang buntis baka nasaktan na kita." I added through gritted teeth.

"K-Kath..." Charmaine said in a bit worried voice as she saw tears forming in my eyes.

"But what's the point anyway if he keeps on choosing you over and over again more than me, right?" She's pregnant, and I guess, that fact was my cue to fully let go of everything, "I just wished that you'll love him the way he needed to be." I added.

I took the drumstick out of my shoulder bag and placed it in front of her. And then everything that we have gone through suddenly came back. All the memories that I had with DJ all came back as if they all just happened yesterday.

"T-This is his promise of forever," I started saying with a hint of bitter smile on my lips, "I can still remember how he cannot play a drum if he's not using this drumstick. But I guess everything has changed now. Na-buo niyo nga ulit ang banda eh. Nakaka-tugtog na ulit siya na hindi ito ang gamit niya." Charmaine didn't say anything as if she's just waiting for me to end.