Magtatanghali na nang magpasya kaming umalis sa bahay. Kumain na lang kami sa labas tapos ay tumambay ng konti sa harap ng IFM kung saan matatanaw ang famed canal. As usual, Calvin took a lot of pictures using his DSLR.
Tawa sila ng tawa ni Franco na parang ang saya-saya nila pero hindi ako. I've been trying to call DJ for a couple of times now but he's not picking up. It's three in the afternoon here; basically, it's seven in the morning on the Philippines. Is it possible that he's still sleeping? I guess so. I hope so.
But why do I feel like there's really something that I should be afraid of? I just shook the thought off my mind and tried to call him again.
"May problema, Kath?" tanong ni Calvin. Umiling naman ako at ngumiti. Lumayo ako ng kaunti sa kanila at tinanaw ang kabuuan ng canal.
DJ's phone is ringing but he's not picking up and I'm starting to worry. Hinilamos ko ang mukha ko nang operator na naman ang sumagot.
"Kath!" Kinalabit ako ni Calvin.
"Shit!" Bigla kong nabitawan ang cellphone ko at sumakto ito sa tubig dahil sa sobrang gulat.
"Fvck! I'm sorry!" Tinignan ni Calvin ang cellphone ko na lumubig na sa kailaliman ng famed canal. Nanlalaki ang pareho naming mata na nagkatinginan, "Shit! I... I'm sorry Kath, kausap mo ba si DJ? You can call him using my phone, here," natatarantang inabot niya sa akin ang cellphone niya.
I laughed hard and shook my head.
"Damn you, Calvin, sayang ang cellphone ko. Wala na." Kunwari ay naiinis pero natatawa ako.
"I'm sorry, please call DJ and tell him, here's my phone and then I'll just buy you a new one." Umiling naman ako at natawa.
"Huwag na. Hindi nga siya sumasagot eh, I'll just chat him via facebook later and tell that I need to change my phone. Bukas na ako papabili ng bago kay Papa." Huminga ng malalim si Calvin at pumikit "Ano ka ba, ayos lang." tumawa siya at umiling.
"Here, just inform him first," kinuha ko naman ang cellphone niya tapos ay sinubukang tawagan ang numero ni DJ. But it's also just ringing and he's not picking up.
"He might be very busy," I told Calvin and give his phone back to him.
"Come on guys, it's getting late. Let's have a dinner first before we go home." And that's what we did.
Later that night, I log on to my facebook account and tried to message DJ. But I can't open my account and I don't know why. Sumuko ako at nagpasyang gumawa ng lang ng bagong account at hinanap agad ang profile ni DJ. Nagtaka ako kasi yung profile picture niya sa message center ay wala ng picture, hindi gaya kahapon, picture pa rin naming dalawa ang naroroon.
I still tried to send him a message but facebook shows me a note saying that I can't reply to that account. I wonder why. I even tried to view his profile account and it confirmed me that it's deactivated.
Why would he do that? I tried to open my skype account and search for his username, just like his facebook account, it's deactivated along with his other accounts. What the hell is happening?
Kinabukasan ay binili ako ni Papa ng bagong cellphone. Good thing I had DJ's number memorized so as soon as I put the sim card on my new phone, I tried to call him. Isang ring lang ay sumagot na siya.
"DJ?" nakangiti kong bati, "kamusta na, this is my new number, nahulog kasi sa famed canal ang phone ko kahapon ba't pala hindi kita-" natahimik ako nang biglang naputol ang tawag. What the actual fvck was that?
He must be really busy. Yup. That's it. He's just busy.
"Are you okay?" Papa asked one time I'm having breakfast with them. I nodded slowly and smiled.
"Hindi naman eh," napatingin ako kay Calvin na nagsalita.
"Si DJ kasi eh, tumatawag ako hindi sinasagot, kahapon sinagot niya pero hindi siya nagsalita. Pinutol niya agad ang linya." Sagot ko sa kanila.
"Do you think DJ would do that?" Mama asked. I shook my head. I know DJ enough to say that he'll never do that.
"He's just busy. I'll just try to call him again some other time." Tumango sila at iniba na ang usapan.
I'm trying to be a wishful thinker. But who am I kidding? Days have turned fast but I didn't receive any call from him.
Sinubukan ko siyang tawagan pero laging operator ang sumasagot at sa inis ay gusto ko ng murahin ang babae. Lumipas pa ang ilang araw. Araw na naging linggo. Linggo na naging buwan.
Halos pitong buwan na hindi nagpaparamdam sa akin si DJ. Isang taon at siyam na buwan na ako rito sa Paris. Iniisip ko tuloy na bumalik ng pilipinas.
Sa nakalipas na halos dalawang taon ko rito, sinubukan kong umuwi ngunit hindi umayon ang tadhana. Summer Vacation, I have a summer class. Sembreak, I busy myself for the upcoming exam. Kaya kahit na gustuhin kong umuwi ay hindi ko nagawa.
It's December and I can feel the cold winter air here. I'm still trying to think and figure out why DJ didn't tried to call me or why he is not answering my phone calls. Is it because of his family? Is he having problem about their business?
I want to demand on his time but I know I can't. I was the one who wanted this anyway. I was the one who wanted to achieve my dreams.
"Kath, you won't believe this," napatingin ako kay Calvin na hinihingal pa, "L-lara called me, she said that she's been trying to call you but you're not picking your phone. Kath, DJ and Charmaine are getting married." Biglang nanghina ang mga tuhod ko at gusto kong himatayin sa narinig.
How could you do this to me, DJ?
The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.
BINABASA MO ANG
Stop The Endless Chase
Fanfiction"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." - James A. Baldwin This is the hardest and toughest decision that I have ever made in my entire life. I thought at first that it w...
