I don't care. (Newtmas AU)

14

Newts POV- the end pt1

(suicide warning in the up coming chapters and mentions of self harm and depression)

I walk around the school avoiding eye contact. Before the incident, I was able to talk to a few people i just chose not too. Now everybody hates me i've never been more alone. I hold my sleeves down and continue walking until i bump into something. I reluctantly look up. My eyes meet Gally's.

"EWW LOOK I GOT FAG ON ME" he yelled pushing me away. "You think you're getting away with that" he whispered in my ear. A cold shiver ran down my spine. Before my brain could even register what had happened i was on the floor with a sharp pain in my face. kicks and punches where coming from all directions from more then one person. i just sat on the floor taking it. "aww wheres your little boyfriend now" Gally spat with an evil laugh.

The crowed dispersed and i was left alone and beaten on the floor, with no one. Know one cares no one will help me, I thought one person would but i was wrong i can't trust anyone one. an overwhelming sense of fear and panic feared through my entire body. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! NO MORE PANIC ATTACKS, NO MORE BEING BEATEN UP, NO MORE MEMORIES OF HIM, JUST NO MORE LIVING.

That thought was final no changing my mind im going to kill myself soon very very soon. I felt almost instantly calm despite my blood stained clothes and the indescribable pain my body is in. I went home i told my parents I loved them and hugged my brother. I went in my room and looked at my belongings. I organised them into boxes. Thing for my brother. My parents. that was really it.

Then i decided to write a letter

Dear loved ones

if you are reading this i am dead. I have been so unhappy for so long. There was one source of happiness that i loved dearly he was my one and only love It literally disappeared over night. I get bullied at school which triggered my anxiety. I started self harming which makes me depressed.I have nothing to live for nothing makes me happy. I'm sorry if you actually cared about me you probably didn't but it is too late im gone

FROM
NEWT

I wrote another letter i'll do it tomorrow night and skip school. I places the organised boxes under my bed and placed the letters on top. I happily went to sleep dreaming about my up coming adventure with death.