I don't care. (Newtmas AU)

15

THOMAS' POV (more suicide talk and depression)

MY life is crumbling more and more each day. I start of sober then i stumble to minho's house fuck up my health then stumble to that clearing that changed my life. Then I pass out more depressed then I started. I'll do anything to feel the bliss of Newts kiss once more but i substitute it for drugs. Minho is very much aware of my situation and is trying to help. for the last few days i've been taking MDMA it does help take the edge off.

I just went to Minho's to get my stuff and im pissed already. I drank an entire bottle of vodka. I'm currently stumbling through the forest trying to find my clearing. i found it as peaceful as always. FUCK!!! I hate myself. I'm a crappy person I don't deserve to be happy. I didn't deserve him. I would have destroyed all the things i loved about him.

I Look at the needle, in my lap, filled with heroine. I'm contemplating whether i truly should fuck up my life give up on absolutely everything. I'll do it tonight such a sinful act should only be done at night in the dark. I sit about thinking about all my fuck ups. All the reasons I love newt and all the reasons i should die. Believe it or not that took me all day.

When night fell i sat by the river and it was a full moon. the stars and the moon made me smile the only thing i wished for was Newt's happiness.

Third person POV

Thomas took a deep breathe and as he exhaled he injected the liquid into his blood stream feeling odd. he closed his eyes while he waited for his high to hit. The blonde tip toed into the forest behind his house once again. Once he reached the clearing he saw thomas. Excitement filled him he wanted to scream laugh and cry all at once. "hey stranger" the blonde whispered moving closer. he noticed Thomas' pale face and dead appearance. instead of being scared he cried. "i wrote something for you"

"Dear Tommy,

you where the love of my life it took me a long time to find happiness but i found it easily with you. Then you left it broke my heart i miss you and wish you would just come back. i'm desperate to see you. just to feel that happiness my life crumbled when you left i couldn't handle it by myself. I started self harming the scars are all over my body. all i wanted and needed was you. Its not your fault im not mad i just want you too know i will always love you.

Love from

Newt"

the blonde walked up to thomas and kissed his forehead. then kissed his lips. "I LOVE YOU" he yelled annoyed "i'm sorry" with that he grabs the razor he cuts in his phone case and skiced 4 deep cuts 2 on each arm. He screamed "I LOVE YOU GODDAMNIT" he repeated it over and over and over again.

Thomas was aware of all of this. The heroine took over his body he couldn't move. he felt the worst pain he had felt in a while he couldn't move he could'nt reply he justcouldn't stop him. the tears rolled down his face. but not more that 10 minutes later Thomas took his last breath as the heroine took over his body. "Newt I love you too"

A/N

I'm tired of happy endings the protagonist died... the end.