The Winchester's Girl

Chapter 31:Don't Tell Him

As soon as Dean puts the impala in park I jump out of the car and head to the trunk. I catch a glimpse of him staring at me in the rear view mirror, but he quickly moves his eyes and pulls the key from the ignition. With a shake of his head he and Sam make their way to the trunk. Dean unlocks the trunk and I swing it open and grab a shovel. I turn and start walking towards the familiar grave stones. As I continue to wander I come across Baylee's father's memorial.

God I miss you..and I sure know Baylee does. You'd be proud of her though. She's strong and beautiful, more than ever.

I think to myself as if I'm speaking aloud to him.

I soon realize that I've just been standing staring in silence for quiet awhile, I also feel the awkward stares from behind me. Just as I was about to turn to face them, I feel a firm hand placed on my shoulder.

"If you want, you can sit out on this one." Dean says awkwardly trying to be nice, as well as not knowing what to do in this situation.

"No, I made the choice to go on this hunt and I'm gonna finish it." I reply sternly as I look up to only lock eyes with deans beautiful green ones.

"Okay." Is all he says before kissing me on the top of my head.

I take my shovel and begin shoveling up the dirt. Dean and Sam soon start shoveling as well, the three of us making pretty good progress. Within less than a hour we are down to the coffin.

"Here babe, let me help you out." Dean says reaching into the hollow grave for me.

"Someone needs to open his coffin up." I try an protest looking up into his beautiful green eyes.

"Sammy's got it covered. Now come on." He says with a slight sad smile. He reaches out for me once again, this time taking his hand I get pulled up and out of the grave. He pulls me close to him and pets my hair with the palm of his hand. When I hear the coffin get cracked open, I pull away from Dean and say;

"You got the salt?"

He nods before handing me a box of salt.
I take it from him and move towards the grave. Looking down to see a man who I once knew as a happy alive man. Trying my best to hold back my emotions I shake the salt all over his old dirty bones. Dean then squirts some gas over his bones. Still looking into the grave I manage to pull out my lighter, an old one that we had once made a joke about. I smile a sad smile before lighting the lighter and dropping it into his open grave. As the flames engulf his dead body I try to piece together why on Earth would have Jc sold his soul for me to come back. And why this would be the way the demon made me come back.

I continue to watch as the flames get higher burning everything that was lying in the grave.

*****

On the ride back home it was silent. No one spoke a word, the silence somewhat disturbing yet, somehow comforting all at the same time. I find myself drifting off into deep thought, and can't stop myself from over analyzing everything that he happened with Jc.

I know that this shit shouldn't bother me, but it does, who knew that me leaving them wouldn't even protect them from the life like I hoped. And now Jc is gonna go to hell all because of me, and it's all my fault. 

I feel a single tear fall upon my cheek as my overwhelming thoughts take over.

The Next Day:

"Hey baby, can I come in?" I hear Dean's sweet yet low voice come from the door.

"Yeah." I mumble just loud enough for him to hear me.

I hear the door click open and in walks Dean with a sweet smile placed upon his lips.

"Hey baby, how are ya holding up?" He asks sounding like he genuinely cares as he stares into my eyes.

"I'm holding." I laugh forcing myself to smile even though I just want to break down and cry.

"Well I guess that's better than letting go.. but I'm heading out to the store you need anything?" He asks with a half smile trying to be as positive as possible.

"No thank you babe, I think I'm good." I say as a small smile spreads across my lips as I see the way he is staring at me.

"Are you sure, not even some pie?" He questions with a slight smirk.

"I think I'm okay babe." I laugh before pulling him in for a sweet kiss.

"Well I think I'm going to get us a pie anyways! I love you princess! I'll be back Sammy will be downstairs if you need anything." He says like he is a father.

"I don't need to be babysat Dean I can take care of myself you know!" I say sarcastically with a slight laugh.

"I know, I know. You're not being babysat, Sammy is just here in case you wanna have someone braid your hair and watch gossip girl with or something else girly." Dean jokes around before giving me a hug goodbye.

I stay sitting where I am not moving until I hear the large main door of the bunker latches back shut. Once I know for sure Dean is gone I make my way downstairs to see Sam sitting at the table in the main room.

"Hey." I say which makes his head pop up from his book.

"Oh hey Amanda, how are you?" Sam responds looking to me with a half of s smile.

"Good." I say trying to fake a smile best as I can, but somehow Sam just sees right through me.

"Really?" He questions in disbelief with a saddened expression.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

There's a long awkward silence as I think of what to say and where to start.

"Sammy if I tell you something you have to promise not to tell Dean.."