"If I tell you this Sam you can't tell him, you just can't. I don't know what he would think of me then." I say as I stare deep into Sam's beautiful puppy dog eyes.
"Amanda whatever it is I'm sure Dean wouldn't think of you any differently." Sam says as he tries to change the circumstances of Dean not being able to know.
"I'm not so sure of that Sam, I love Dean I really do, but Sam I'm torn in pieces about something right now and I really just need to talk to someone others than him about it." I explain my head dropping to the floor with saddened eyes.
"It's okay Amanda you can tell me, I won't say anything as long as you don't want me to." Sam says agreeing to the terms.
"Oh Sam I don't even know where to start! Okay..well you know the hunt we were just on, obviously I knew everybody related to it, and I had a feeling from the very start that it was my friends, but I didn't want to believe it was true. So I went on the hunt regardless of my feelings towards it and when we pulled up to the house I immediately knew that it was them." I pause a moment to look into Sam's caring eyes as he nods for me continue.
"Back when I ran away because I was wanted for murder, it had been a few long hard years and by this time I was now fifteen when I first meet Jc. We had both been through a lot of shit. I met him on the road when I was hitch hiking. He told me about this house that he lives at with his buddies and about my long lost best friend Baylee. Once I heard about my friend I immediately said that I had to go with him to see her. Like I said, I went to see her and I ended up staying with them for a while. But then something happened, something that I would regret for as long as I live..." I have to stop myself from crying so I inhale deeply before continuing.
"Jc....Jc and I...we became a thing.... he told me that he loved me and held me when no one else would...even thought I was young and very in love with Jc I knew that I couldn't stay and get attached to him, because I knew that with the secret life I lived that he would never be safe around me. And that moment in my life where I had felt true happiness was the same moment I had felt the greatest heartbreak. Knowing that I would have to leave without any explanation, except I had to get out of "this" life. Our life wasn't bad there was just a thing with us and the feds. See Jc used to be apart of a gang, and sometimes it could lead to bad situations. So the day came when I packed my things up and I told him that I had to leave, he cried, begged me not to go, not to leave him, he wanted me to stay so bad he said he would do anything in the world to get me to stay." I feel a single tear slip from my eye and slide down my cheek.
"Despite his attempts to get me to stay I left, never turning back, well until the hunt. Jc sold his soul for me, Sam. He sold his soul.!He gave up the rest of his life just to see me again! I was so pissed, but also so upset when he told me that he had done that. And I can't stop thinking about the fact that he gave up everything just to see me again. He's going to hell because of me Sam! I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving him, I thought that was going to protect him from the life, from my life! But I guess I was wrong! And now he's going to spend the rest of eternity rotting in hell, all because I left him. And Sam I hate to admit it, but I still felt something with Jc, but it's not the same way I feel with Dean. It was like I just missed him and oh, I don't know Sam. I don't know what to do I feel like everything is my fault right now. Ricky's death is on me, that's how the demon got me to come back he killed my friend to get me to come back! How fucked is that!!? Sam I don't know what to do I can't just let him die because of me!!" I cry out to him as tears start to flood from my eyes and down my face.
"Hey, hey, hey, Amanda it's okay. It's not your fault. None of this is on you. You couldn't have known this would have happened. You thought you were doing the right thing, come on Amanda it's not your fault." Sam says as he holds me in his large muscular arms.
"Sam what do I do?" I question looking up to him as I try to control myself.
"There's nothing you can do Amanda, all you can do is just let go." Sam says as he pets my hair as I continue to sob into his sturdy chest.
"There's got to be something I can do Sam, there just has to be, I have to save him!" I say as I finally sit up and wipe my tears.
I climb off of him and make my way to the door.
"Where are you going Amanda?" Sam questions in confusion and shock as he watches me from a far.
"I've got to save him Sam I can't just let him die because of me!" I say wiping a tear that escaped my eye.
"What are you going to do Amanda?!" Sam questions me once again with his eyebrows slightly raised as jumps up and follows me outside to the garage. I climb onto my motorcycle and start it up ignoring Sam's question. I pull off as Sam tries to get my attention.
"Amanda!?" Sam yells as he chases after me, but on the motor cycle I am to fast for him.
Not being able to catch up, he pulls out his phone and hastily dials Dean's number.
After two rings Dean picks up the phone:
"Hello Sam-"
"Look Dean it's Amanda she.."
YOU ARE READING
The Winchester's Girl
FanfictionAmanda is a girl who lost her parents at a young age. Her mother died when she was ten years old, and she watched it happen. Amanda is now a hunter. She hunts down all the darkness in the world and kills it. It's her job. Amanda has no one, she is a...
