New Love

Harding

I think I'm more—
" Ayo stoner get out my way," said doofus #1 (yeah I said doofus..or at least thought it) interrupting my thoughts.
"Yeah man or get lost," said doofus #2.
"Or go to your little girlfriend. What's her name? Mya?," said the main doofus (doofus #3). I was getting so angry. I have never been this angry. Well not since--
" Lillian?"
"No I think it was Thotiana.""
I didn't even care who said it. I mean I probably wouldn't even know because somehow my anger blinded me. And all I did was swing.
But before I knew it I was left alone on the ground with blood everywhere. I think I was stabbed I don't know. But I know I was on my back and as a reflex I turned around and stared at the sky. It was ombré so I guess the beautiful and blinding sun was setting. What I just thought doesn't make me a girl....I just like whatever fills up the sky. Then I closed my eyes.
"Please be alive please be alive. Lord Jesus I will do anything for him to come back to me." said a familiar voice.
"Okay mom please keep your prayers to yourself."
"Oh honey your alive. Oh thank the Lord!!" Then I was smothered in kisses by my mother.
"Dominic!!!!!!He is alive!" said my mom.
" I told you he wasn't dead. Our son is a macho man" said Dominic.
" I'm not your son. I'm her son and Antonio's son."
"Anthony not here," she said.
" It's okay Janelle. He still doesn't see me as his father. He will soon."
" I WILL NEVER SEE YOU AS MY ANYTHING ESPECIALLY MY FATHER."
I felt a slap to the face.
" Anthony I said not here and show some respect for your new father."
" Get out," I said calmly.
"Honey, I understand--"
"I said get out!"
She and her "husband" left. And no I won't talk about them now. Maybe later.

So I just stared and I didn't know I was looking at her.
"So your in the hospital but for what," she asked as she closed the doors.
"I got up beat up."
" Aww Benito, you aren't a fighter. So why did you start it?"
Benjamin is my middle name but she called me Benito.
" Hey how do you know I started it?"
" Ok so what did they do to make you want to be in the hospital," she asked as she rolled up her blunt. She looked happy. Maybe this wasn't her first blunt of the day. And it probably won't be her last.
Her beautiful black hair was in a bun. She doesn't wear make up. She thinks girls who do that are "pussy". And she didn't do other girly things like her hair, nails or even worried about what she has to wear in the morning. She could wear anything and look beautiful. She is a natural beauty.
" Hello! Quit staring at my assets and tell me what happened."
" They were talking bad about you and I couldn't stand it so I swung then woke up here."
"Your a dumb fuck you know that right. You know your weak as fuck that's why I gave you that gun. To protect yourself." After what felt like an eternity of silence she leaned forward and said, "Because I can't loose you."
Her blunt wasn't in her hand and she was so close there was no space between us. It was magical (just like every moment with her whether we were angry or sex hungry). And I leaned in for a kiss and she disappeared. Where did she go?!

"Anthony! Wake up," said another familiar voice.
"Stop yelling," I yelled back.
As my senses kicked in, I felt like had the worst hangover ever. My body ached everywhere and the left part of my abdomen was like the central part of my pain.
Can't believe that was a dream. Felt more like a nightmare because it could never happen and it's just taunting me. I know I will never see her again. She's slipped through my fingers permanently. Yet, I let my mind play these games on me and believe it.
"Well you wouldn't wake up so I thought you were dead," said the other familiar voice.
My eyes registered on the beholder of the voice to see my best friend, Nick Underwood. Everyone calls him Rocky because a lot of people think he's too tough and wise for his age. He scares a lot of people but he likes it like that. Only people in our dead now group chat/clique "Fruity Pebble Shit". It was 7the grade, don't judge us. Plus it was funnier at the time. We used to act gay as hell and we were great entertainers. I speak in past tense now because we're all busy now and I kind of distanced myself from them.
"So when you think someone is dead you yell at them to see if their alive. You're so intelligent. I would love to be like you when I grow up."
"Haha very funny. No really I can't stop laughing...but for real bro you scared me. You haven't been up in 3 days."
"I'm sorry bro. I didn't mean to put you in your feelings." He had me dying.
This guy sitting here with me is my best friend in the whole world. I trust him with my life but as you can see that may not be a very smart thing. He is like my older brother. He always tries to encourage me to stay away from drugs and alcohol and work harder in school. He also hated her. That's why I have been so distant from him lately. Because all he will say is 'I told you so' and that's  the last thing I need.
"That's not funny. Seriously don't ever scare me like that again. The doctor said that they punched you until you were unconscious and one of them stabbed you in your stomach."
"Wow, that sounds very painful but I'm okay. So don't get your boxers in a twist Mr. Underpants."
"Don't let me get started on your noodle built head ass. I ain't never met someone who's ass cheeks touch,"he said with a goofy ass voice, that caused us both to bust out laughing. Man there's never a dull moment with this big body boy. He ain't fat though he's buff.

"So Harvard keeps calling me. I guess they feel salty now that they have realized I'm a genius but they turned my black ass down."
"Your ass really is black tho."
"Shut up!" He was laughing.
"No really. I remember that Summer we were at  Norman (it's a lake) and we were playing truth or dare. I dared you to go skinny dipping. And you did. I looked at your ass and it was black as shit." The room was full of roars of laughter. I haven't laughed like this since...well ages.
" I remember that night. That was the night Riley finally had the guts to call his crush. What was her name?"
"Isabella"
" He called her(laughs) and asked to borrow her pencil for the (laughs) p-p-party. He was supposed to ask to go to (laughs even harder) the party at Jacob's. Then at the party he got so drunk that he grabbed the microphone and asked to marry her. Then when he got the pencil he puked on her."
I think he is dying. Wait I think I'm dying. That was the funniest sleepover of my life. I'm laughing so hard right now I'm crying.
"Nothing will ever top that."
Then there was a really long awkward pause of silence.
It felt like we had so many things to tell the other but we were keeping it to ourselves. So our laughs were just stuck in the air.
"I'm going to ask you a question and I want a solid honest answer,"Rocky said. "Understood?"
"I think you don't understand that I am very stubborn."
"I have known that since the day I met you."
" Hey remember that day. It was so-"
"Not the point so don't get off topic........Why have you been so distant lately?"
I wasn't looking at him before but when he asked me that question I turned to him and looked him in the eyes. What I saw in his eyes was him pleading for the truth. I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to talk about it either. But I know if I don't open up to him he will leave this room and never come back or even want to be in the same room as me. Probably because I did him just as dirty as she did me. I ignored his calls and avoided him. Even when he really needed me, but I couldn't face him. I didn't want to and I still kind of don't. I'm just too mad at the world.
"We were having a good time why you gotta ruin it?"
Guess it's a chance I am will to take.
"Wh-Are you serious? So you think you can ignore me and avoid me for so long and  then I come back one day when you are in the hospital and we can just laugh it off?......if so you tripping."
He got up, left and slammed the door. Well it ain't the first time someone did that to me. So it don't hurt as much.

Then a nurse came into my room, sadly a male one, to check up on my vitals.
"You seem pretty famous," he said. Before I answered him I  looked at his shirt to find his name tags. His name is Anthony just like me.
"What do you mean by that Anthony," I asked. "The night you were emitted and they called for your family, practically everyone in the waiting room stood up. I assume most were just your friends and you have a big family." I pondered on what he said and it kind of made me happy to know taht I mattered to so many people. I guess I will have to pay them a visit in the near future or do something with all of them.
"Was there a girl who you could've assumed was my girlfriend," I asked and he frowned as to show that he was thinking. But it was obvious that my phrase didn't match anyone there in his memory right away, he's just trying to make me feel better I guess.
"No man I'm sorry. Did you and your girlfriend have a bad fight," he asked in a concerning way.
" I should be happy that she s gone because she was pretty toxic and manipulative. But I learned to love all her flaws yet she still left me yearning for more."
"I wish I could say girls are like that but I'm not gonna lie it's kind of more of a guy move. I hope you find peace," he said as he left.
I'm grateful that he didn't say that he hopes I find someone else. I don't want someone else right now or later. So I tried to keep my mind occupied by watching some "Friends".

Barking interrupted Ross from yelling at Rachel that they were on a break for the billionth time. I recognized that barking as August Snake, my pet dog. It was my dad's and mom hated it and hates it. Then before I knew I felt Drake and Snake jump on me.
"Deebooo," I yelled out as he gave me a lot of kisses. I winced a little and mom told him to stop.
"I'm going to go into the office to sign you out. You have school tomorrow," mom said before leaving. I don't want to go to school for three reasons: (1) I don't like school or the people who occupy it, (2) I don't remember who hit me but I know we go to the same school, and (3) everyone will be talking about it because well it's high school.
"Anthony, do you want me to go to school with you to beat those boys up? I can do it," he said as he hounded his left hand with his fist. I laughed and told him that I will handle it.