Beautiful Broken Self

Chapter Eight

Time passed and it was just eight in the evening. It was getting cold outside so I put on my leather jacket. I made sure I had my money and phone when I leave. I was about to open the door when a voice called.

"Melody, where are you going?"

I turned around and Matthew was there, wearing an apron. Ever since that little conversation we had in the car I didn't talk to him, he noticed that I wasn't gonna talk so he let me be in my room and didn't bother me.

"I'm just gonna head out." I said shortly.

"But dinner's ready." He said. "And where would you be going this time of night?"

"Eat without me."

"Where are you going? Aren't you hungry?" He asked, frowning.

"I'm just going to head to the store. God, Matthew you sound like Meredith!" I exclaimed. "I won't be long."

I opened the door and left before he could say anything else. He was gonna get to my nerves if I stayed longer. I hopped in my car and drove off.

By this time of night, the neighborhood is usually quiet now since everyone sleeps early on curfew. I always found it peaceful. It wasn't one of those neighborhoods that throws parties late at night.

A few minutes later I made it to the small store. It was a 24/7 store so it's still open.

It's been a while since I've been here. Mostly I go to this part of town when I want to think and be alone. This part of the town has this small store, a gas station nearby, a small cozy diner and the park. Exploring is one of the things I do when I don't have anything else to do besides painting.

As always there was the fifty year old clerk who stands at the cash register all night. She's really nice but we weren't that close. I don't really know if she goes home or if she lives here, it's one of the things I'm curious about.

I don't really stay long in here, I mostly just buy the food that I want and just hang in my car in the parking lot for a few minutes before leaving.

I wander around the aisles, deciding what I'm going to get. In the end, I was carrying a bag of chips, a cool apple cider, a big box of chocolate chip cookies and a chocolate bar. After getting the receipt, I head to my car, bidding my goodbye to the cashier.

I hopped in the car and took a breathe of relief because it was warmer in here than outside because of the cold. I sat in my car for the next fifteen minutes, I think, thinking about everything.

It's impossible.

It's impossible how he, Matthew can act so kindly to me. It's like when I try to break him a bit or get him angry at me, he couldn't. I know it's weird but it's just so strange. Was there something I'm missing? And how could he forget that very night when we talked? That's another story.

We never really discussed too much about the time we met at that party. I mean, what was his real reaction when he saw me again after those two years of me away from New York. Shocked? Happy? Disappointed?

I wasn't really the person I used to be after the accident or any of the horrible stuff that happened to me after that. I remembered crying a lot, until there were no tears left. I was so sad because I didn't know who I was, I felt like a broken toy. Forgetting yourself and all your memories was frightening, it was worse than death.

I was having depression that time, but I soon learned how to get through it. By realizing that crying wouldn't get me anywhere. I needed to be tough in this world because the only one that can protect me is me. My once silky long blonde hair, is now a neck length with the color of flames. I thought that if I'm going to start from the top then it's time for a new look. It actually suited me better. I look badass.

I laughed at myself for thinking about it. I used to be blonde and now I'm a red head. I too would be shocked if I saw myself like Matthew had when I met him at the party.

Why would my father even allow the opposite gender to come live with me? Of all the things he did to me, this was one of the craziest. Was he really planning a merger? If he was he knows I'd find every way to not get myself involved in any nonsense he puts me in. Or maybe there is something else. Something I'm missing.

Matthew was sent to me for a reason. He claimed to be one of the closest things to me. To my past. He was my childhood bestfriend. I don't really think they could trigger my memories back right? It's been two years since I lost them and I already lost hope of them coming back.

It's been only two days and Matthew was already bothering me even if he wasn't around. He's still one ofthe mysteries I have yet to solve. There's still one more thing though, when we met, was he expecting something else? Was he expecting me to recognize him? Was he expecting that I would still be the same girl that he called his bestfriend?

And if he was my bestfriend, then why did he just comeback now? Why pass on two years without showing me his existence? There's really something going on.

***

I close the door quietly. I got home after eating half the box of cookies. It was already half past nine when I got back from my tiny escapade and was hoping that Matthew was already asleep.

But as soon as I checked the living room, a pair of strong arms wrapped itself around me, trapping me. I gasped but then realized it was just Matthew.

"You scared the hell out of me, Melody! I thought something happened to you because you just said that you wouldn't take long to get back. Then an hour passed and you still weren't home that's when I got worr-"

"Matthew." I cut him off.

"Yeah?" He calmed down a bit.

Was he that concerned about me?

"It's alright, I'm here, aren't I?" I said. I pat his shoulders. "You can let go of me now."

He let go of me and I was able to breathe properly now.

"Anyway, why are you still up? There's still school tomorrow." I said, while removing my jacket. I avoided eye contact.

"Like I said, I was waiting for you. I left you some dinner in case you'd be hungry when you get back." He scratched his neck.

"Thanks but you didn't have to make me some. I can-"

"Do it on your own, got it. But I just really wanted to talk to you, you know, about what happened earlier." He said, looking at me in the eyes.

"It's fine, Matthew. No big deal. I'm over it." I said, trying to sound casual.

"But I'm not. I want to apologize for pushing you like that. Like you said, it wasn't my business to talk about what happened in your life and I didn't mean to get things to get so personal that I'd make you cry. I just want you to give me chance. A chance to be your friend, that's all." He said, his eyes pleading.

I'm still angry at him but he still apologized. See! He is so freaking nice to me that sometimes it scares me. I'm not really the forgiving type. When I'm angry at the person, I'm angry. What he did was a bit out of the line. I probably have to think about it.

"Whatever." I grunted before going upstairs.