Look only to Me

Scene 3

If only the time has stopped. Or if the morning could never ever come, Sing would gladly accept it. Here he was, already awake since one hour ago, eyes still closed, laying on his back on top of Krist's bed.

What have I done..

He cursed and lamenting about what happened just last night. How he lost control and.. his body grows rigid. He grit his teeth and clenched his fists. He dread about what would happen when he open his eyes, when Krist open his.. there's nothing he can do, he suppose, beside accepting whatever punishment or decision from the younger man.

Sing open his eyes then, already making decision in his mind. He got up carefully, glancing at the body of his junior, enveloped by the blanket. His bare shoulders and chest peeking from it. Sing gulped.

Let's.. let's just clean everything..

He forced himself to tear his eyes off the delightful scene in front of him and dragged his heavy feet to the living room. There, he put away the empty cans of beer and all the trash he could find, bundle it together, and place it near the trash bin in the kitchen. After that, he took a much need shower to clean himself. He then find aspirin and a jug of water and brings them to the bedroom. He placed them on top of bedside table, and just.. kneeling. With his head bowed.

Waiting. For Krist to wake up.

Beep.. beep.. the alarm signaling the time for Krist to wake up. The body began stirring and wriggling, trying to wake up fully.

"Ow. My head.." Krist moaned, clutching at his poor head because of the coming hangover.

"There's a water and aspirin beside the bed." Sing tells him. There's a hand groping around until it reach the items. Krist grimace at the pain he felt while gulping them.

A silence fills the room as Krist waits the aspirin to kick in. he blinked his eyes when he saw Sing kneeling not far from the bed.

"..P' Sing..?" he puzzled.

The one in question gripped his knees. "I'm very sorry!" his head bow lowly, unable to meet Krist's eyes.

"Wha-"

Again, the silence fell. Krist might have remember it by now, judging by there's no sound coming from the junior. But Sing is still afraid to raise his head.

"Oh. Shit.." Krist then cursed. "Fuck. Damn it to hell."

Sing brave himself to take a peek at the one on the bed. Krist is sitting, his bare torso in plain view. His face scrunching in disbelief, hands on the head, messing the already rumpled hair. The older man hesitated to say a word.

A bitter laugh escaped from those sexy lips, then. "That explain why my body is fucking sore."

Sing clench his eyes shut, biting his lips.

"Krist.."

"..forget."

"Huh?" Sing raised his head, eyes widening as he stares at the younger man.

"Let's just forget it, Phi." A pleading. Krist whole expression, the way he utters it, and the defeated tone of it. all of them pleading to Sing.

"I don't want to think about this. Please, Phi?"

Sing's mouth opened, but there's no sound was out. His body trembling, a mix feeling inside his heart. He wants to make a rebuttal. Because.. how can he forget about this?

"We were drunk, right Phi? We lost control. What happened already happened. And I.. I don't want to remember it."

Hurt. That's the most prominent feeling inside Sing right now. His mind in turmoil.

"Please, Phi.." the whispered plea finally slip through Sing's defense. He found himself nodding and promising the younger man.

..he needs to get out from here.

Faster.

So Krist can't see his face. Because he doesn't even know what his heart is telling him right now.

****

Sing moped. Yes, there's no other words for that. He shouldn't even have a right to mope, but he wants to, damned it!

P' Jane just let him be, at first. Thinking that it might be because he is too stressed out with revision after revision for his thesis. But eventually, he had enough. It happened after he got back from meeting his advisor for the 5th time.

"Here." Like the last time, P' Jane thrust a pile of papers to him as he was slumping in his seat.

"What is it, Phi?" he asked stupidly. Too tired to think properly.

"I've arrange everything so you can just go back to your Por. that's your homework." P' Jane's huffed.

"..khrup?"

"It's only just a little bit more for you to finish, like you said right?" P' Jane recounted what he said to him. Sing nodded.

"Well. Those are the potential drama and movies I can get my hand to. I even colored code them." P' Jane tell him proudly. Sure enough, as Sing look into them one by one, there's three colors on the front pages; red, blue, and yellow.

"Ah. Here, let me show you." P' Jane then grab a seat for him so he could sit beside Sing. He then explained it to him. "The red one is what I think you won't be too interested about it, the yellow one is what I think you might interested to, and the blue one is the script I think you would want."

Sing's face brightened. "Oh, Phi! Thank you na!" he looks to the pile of scripts with wonders. There are so many of them! He can't wait to read it one by one! The possibilities of characters.. it would be endless.

Mood lifted, he does as he was told, prepared everything to go to his Por's for the time being. His resolved to finish this damn thing renewed. He won't disappoint P' Jane. He has a feeling he will get a good one here.

****

I have too much expectation.. two weeks after he started to grab one of the script from those piles turns to be fruitless. Nothing that really interest him. He intentionally grabbed one at random in every occasion where he had a chance to read them. The story might interest him, but the characters.. not so much. So he skip them. Put a question marks at some of the characters that he thinks might interest him more the second time he read it. anndd.. he is not satisfied.

Should I just choose the most interesting character out of them?

There's still two or three more scripts left from the piles, but honestly? He is already tired reading script after script to be disappointed. So, in this fine afternoon, while he sort of hiding from everyone (there's a place big enough for him to comfortably lays around under the bed. He plucks at random one of the them, the front page was colored yellow, telling himself that it'll be the last script he read this week. Because he had enough.

So he read.. and read.. and was captivated.

This Kiet character..

It was like the character was made for Singto to try. He was kind of villainy.. being the reason for the male lead to hesitate pursuing his love. Kiet is the male lead's childhood and best friend. And he rejected the girl because he saw that she was an easy girl. And what's with his 'dark past'? it's intrigued him.

How would Kiet acted and behave? How would he makes this man alive? His body is vibrating with excitement. So, with impatient feeling, he dials his manager.

"Phi? I want this one! Please let me be this one!" he tells the man excitedly.

"Calm down, Sing.. tell me which one do you mean?"

"Kiet! I want to be Kiet!"

****