Crush Imagines

Imagine #41

It's been 2 months since the breakup. And I think I am stable enough to be on here now. This is something that happened to me recently. So replace speech tournament with something else.

You and C/N were coming home from a speech tournament. It was midnight when the bus started the 3 hour drive home.

It had been a long speech tournament. You had gotten up at 3:30am and had to be at school at 5:45 in the morning. You were exhausted. More than exhausted.

You looked up from your phone and saw that everyone had fallen asleep. Well, almost everyone.

Sitting next to you, you saw C/N staring down at his phone. You poked his cheek.

"Hey you," you whispered.

"Hey sorry thought you fell asleep," he turned his phone off and gave you his entire attention. 

You smiled and felt your heart become warm.

"Wanna watch The Office?" you asked so quietly, that you didn't think he heard you.

He gave you a small, sleepy smile.

"Of course," he scooted closer to you and grabbed a earbud.

You were a bit shocked he said yes, but his cologne had you under his spell.

You scrolled to The Office on Netflix and pressed played.

You guys watched one episode before your friend woke up behind you guys.

"Hey guys," he smiled and you and C/N.

You paused Netflix and turned to talked to F/N.

"Look at how cute they are," you heard the guy sitting in front of you said.

You looked in the darkness and saw he was pointing at two kids sitting in the aisle across from you and C/N.

It was a boy and a girl leaning against one another. It was quite cute.

You let out a yawn. C/N turned his attention back to you.

"You tired?" he asked.

You nodded. Staying up for almost 24 hours had finally hit you.

"I'm just going to rest my eyes for a bit."

You took your jacket off and leaned it against the window. You were starting to doze off when you felt something put over your shoulders.

"Here," you opened your eyes to look at C/N putting his jacket on your shoulders.

You couldn't fight back the smile.

"Won't you be cold?" you asked.

"It's okay," he helped put your arm through the jacket," Now you should get some sleep."

You pulled the jacket on completely and just stared at C/N. He was so close to your face. His smell was everywhere. You stared at his lips and he stared at yours.

You let out another yawn and C/N just smiled at you.

"Sleep for a bit," he leaned back into the seat.

The moment was gone. 

And you weren't sure you were ready for him anyways. Ready for anyone.

You leaned your head against the window and cursed yourself for not leaning in.

*****

As the bus hit a bump, you woke up suddenly. You checked your phone. You were only asleep for 30 minutes. 

You were aware of C/N's body being pressed up against yours. 

He was on his phone, using your headphones. You smiled softly at how handsome he looked in the glow of his phone.

He turned to you and you felt your cheeks heat up.

"I see you are awake again," he leaned back and stretched.

You saw him shiver a bit. It was so cold on the school bus.

"Oh here take your jacket back," you started to take it off but he stopped you.

His hands wrapped around yours. 

"No keep it really," he licked his lips," You need it more than I do Y/N."

You felt your stomach erupt with butterflies at the sound of your name coming off his lips.

"Now go back to sleep," he said softly.

You yawned again and found yourself leaning against the window again.

*****

"Y/N," someone shook your shoulder.

You opened your eyes to find C/N's staring into yours.

"We are home," he grabbed your bag.

The bus then came to a halt and the lights soon were turned on. 

You stood up and so did he. You leaned against him a bit as sleep left you.

He was about to walk down the aisle when you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh here your jacket," he had a look in his eyes that you couldn't decipher," Thank you so much."

He smiled and walked off the bus with you close behind.

You jumped down the steps and let the cool air hit your face.

C/N just stood there and stared at you.

"I'll text you tomorrow," you walked away.

Before you did something stupid.

 Hey people! I have missed you all so much. I needed to fall to rock bottom so I can fix myself. So far, I have gotten high after almost a year clean. I drank alcohol for the first time last month. I was very hungover today(3rd time drinking). I drink coffee everyday. I take sleeping pills on the weekend because I have nightmares about him. I write him so much into my poetry that I am starting to confuse the names of my poems for his name. I broke a person who was in love me, and yes I do feel horrible, but I told him I wasn't ready to love yet he still tried to date me. I have tiny feelings for my bestfriend, who this was about, he is real sweet. 
But now I am okay. I am getting better. I have messed up. But I called him today and left him a voicemail. If he wants nothing to do with me, I cannot blame him nor can I hate him for it. I tried. At least I tried and that says a lot trust me. I am okay. I am still alive. Some mornings I want to just stay in bed, but I make myself get up and get coffee and will sit on my couch. I will get better. Life goes on. I love you all so much. Yes, I am back. All the love - K.