The Pros and Cons of Being Outed | Peterick

Chapter Nine

Patrick has never had to contemplate his feelings before. He just knows when he likes someone, but this time, he's not sure.

He's more inclined to think he likes Pete just to spare his feelings, but Patrick wants to know how he genuinely feels. Has it always been there, and he's just always ignored it?

Patrick thinks and thinks about it, and even envisions what being with him would be like. He stays up for such a long time, but then he remembers something that happened sometime ago.

---

It had been the Fourth of July, and in typical best friend fashion, the two spent their time together. It had been hard to convince their parents to let them wander off, but they did the same thing every year, so eventually their parents relented.

The two were sitting on the grass on one of the hills, staring up at the sky while the fireworks went off. Light pinks, greens, dark reds, and blues painted the sky.

"It's so pretty," Patrick sighed, "Like, it almost feels like it's not real, you know?"

He never got tired of the fireworks, but Pete had eventually gotten over the thrill.

"Yeah," Pete shrugged. "I can think of something prettier though."

"What could possibly beat that?" Patrick questioned, gesturing upwards to the sky.

Pete smiled softly and nudged him. "You," he said smoothly.

And Patrick blushed like a mad man, so flustered over the thought. Pete laughed so hard at that.

Once Patrick got over that, he thought it would be over. Pete always charmed him with sweet things like that, so he figured that would be it. But just when he thought that, Pete grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"What are you doing?" Patrick nervously asked. Was it possible Pete had figured out his sexuality, and that he was slyly making fun of him for it?

"My hands are cold," Pete explained.

Patrick nodded dumbly, telling himself to keep looking at the fireworks and to not worry about how his heart was racing. It was almost impossible to ignore.

The last firework shot above them, and the brightness illuminated Pete's face. He looked so happy and free, and Patrick almost leaned in to kiss him.

But he restrained himself because Pete was his best friend. Best friend's don't kiss, and they don't feel the way that Patrick does.

Pete was already looking at him, and they grinned at each other. "We should do this every year," Pete commented.

"Yeah," Patrick nodded. Pete stood up and dusted himself off, offering a hand to pull him up. Patrick obliged, and once he was standing, Pete pulled him closer.

For a moment, the two were just staring at each other. Patrick wasn't sure what Pete was thinking, but he knew exactly what he himself was thinking about.

"Pete?" Patrick asked, pulling him out of his daze.

"Sorry," Pete shook his head. "Just... You keep distracting me."

Patrick laughed at that, but truthfully he felt happy about that. As long as Pete meant that in a good way, of course.

That night was perfect.

---

That night was what made him really notice that he had feelings for Pete, but he didn't hold onto them long. About two weeks later, Pete was already chattering about a pretty girl in his math class that finally agreed to go on a date with him.

And it hurt. So, he ignored it because this kind of pain only hurts when you let it. He forgot all about those feelings.

Now, he's pretty sure that pushing them away didn't get rid of them. They were just tucked away in his brain, ready to be accessed whenever he wanted to.

He still likes Pete, after all this time. Patrick wanted to laugh, but at this point he was too tired.

Knowing that he finally understood what he felt, he easily went to sleep.

At school that morning, Pete practically hunted him down. He was already there when Patrick made it to his locker, tapping his foot nervously.

His face lit up once he saw Patrick. God, if that's how he always looked at him, then Patrick is an idiot for missing it. "Did you figure out how you feel?" he asked eagerly.

Patrick smiled at him. "Yeah," he said, and wrapped him up in a hug. He would've done more, but they were at school, so he settled for that. "I love you too," Patrick whispered in his ear.

Pete cheered so loudly that Patrick just knew people were looking at them. But he couldn't find it within himself to care, not when things were this good.

Pete pulled away from the hug first, and he was beaming like the fucking sun. It warmed Patrick's heart to know that he made him that happy. "Have fun in class, 'Trick," he said fondly. "Don't think about me too much."

Patrick chuckled. "I could say the same thing to you."

Then, Pete leaned in as if he was going to give him a kiss on the cheek, but Patrick subtly backed up. "Not here," he whispered. "Later."

Pete nodded, and sighed. The bell rung, so both of them turned their separate ways and made their way to class.

Patrick was too giddy to concentrate.