A New World (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 13

Gwen's P.O.V
Halloween was awful. I spent the whole night crying; how pathetic is that? I should have just stayed at home. Letting people in, giving them my trust, it was all too much. People abused and destroyed all that I gave them and I'm done.

That's why I'm here, on my own. Sitting in the back corner of a cafe. Alone. People are coming and going, most of the time with others to accompany them.

It's just amazes me that so many people can find happiness, but when it comes to me I stand no chance.

Happiness flaunts all of its beauty in my face and just when I think I have it, it vanishes like smoke in the rain.
In all honesty I'm just sick of it all. I want these feelings of emptiness and abandonment to be over. That would be great, to feel nothing.

"You're looking pretty upset, hun."
Looking up, I see the Sue, who happens to be the owner of this cozy cafe.
She's like a mother to me. I've been coming here ever since I moved and she's always been protective of me. She accepts me for all that I am and I love her. She is probably the only person who knows me. She knows my pain. She knows my guilt. She knows what to do when I claim to be 'fine'. She knows that silence is sometimes the best cure.
Her grey hair is the only indicator of her age, if it were any other color she'd look like she was still in her thirties. Her skin is healthy from years of exercise and care.

"What's wrong? Is it your uncle or the dreams?"

Her sorrow filled eyes linger on mine for a moment, taking in all of my pain, fear, anguish, and frustration. All of it in one look.

"I've just had a rough few weeks. Ha, it feels like my world is slowly but surely being destroyed." The tears are already falling and I don't bother to hide my pain from her.

It's a good thing that I sat in the back because I cried for probably an hour and she just hugged me. Everything came back and I could not push away the painful memories. Dahlia's face when I caught her, Sarah's face when I was forced off of her, both of them looking surprised that I was there.
After the shaking and tears subsided Sue still held on to me and I never wanted it to end. Her hugs were like heaven. She showed all the goodness she had to offer in one hug. One hug would make all of my sinister emotions disintegrate and replace them with love, tenderness, and joy.

I finally found it in myself to get out of her embrace, she still had work after all.

I sniffle " Thank you so much, Sue. I really didn't mean to take up your time."

"Nonsense child, you know that I'm always here for you. Now do you want to tell me what's got you down? Or are you gonna make me wait forever?"

So I told her. I told her how both Dahlia and Sarah broke through my wall, how they made me love them and how they broke me. How I gave them my all only to have it thrown in my face. How I badly wanted it all to be a dream, and just live my life and how I wished that I never fell in love so easily.
It all just came pouring out of me. I was naked and vulnerable and totally at her will but she didn't hurt me. She gave me a leg to stand on when I couldn't hold myself up, a shoulder to cry on.

"Gwen, I know you feel that the world is against you but you have to understand that things happen for a reason." The warmth that radiated off her alone was enough to piece me back together. "I'm not saying that it's your fault, but you allowed them to break your wall and see you for you. Don't give your all to people who don't deserve it because you are a sweet girl and the pain that's clouding your heart shouldn't be there.

This is only a set back for you. Know that you are strong and don't you ever second guess yourself. We all feel pain but we have to bounce back from it, otherwise we will always allow people to walk over us." She softly kissed my head. "Now I've got to go, time is money dear."