Freaks

23 • plans

❝tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?❞
ｍａｒｙ ｏｌｉｖｅｒ

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ＴＨＥＲＥ are a couple reasons why after my session with Professor Horowitz, I don't turn down the hall to go find Cole's room.

The first reason, if I was being honest, is simply that I forgot. With everything going on, especially with Cass and the team, the thought of visiting him doesn't even come to mind. And when it does, well... let's say the second reason is a bit more complicated.

Cole needed space to think over my request and I needed time to think of ways to convince him to agree. And so I stay away until I think of one.

The idea comes to me the following day when I am mulling over something both Cass and Professor Horowitz have mentioned a lot these past few days: files.

"Okay, so before you say anything, hear me out first, will you?" I tell Cole as soon as I enter his room later on that Tuesday evening. "I know you want me to 'know myself' or whatever before you agree to train me, so I've thought of a compromise."

Cole stares at me wordlessly, immovably. I take it as my cue to shut the door behind us and continue. 

"There are these files—everyone has them apparently, and they contain everything about everyone. Think about it—entire timelines recorded in one place. I figured, if I could get mine, I would be able to fill in the blanks in my memory. I'd finally be able to get the answers to my questions. I think it could actually help to me know what it means to be me, as Emma Sparke. Not the alter ego they gave me."

Cole continues to stare.

I continue to talk.

"The only problem is..." I say, eyeing him hesitantly, "is that I can't do it alone. I've got a plan on how to get it, but I'd need help. So what do you say? Help me discover who I really am, and train me?"

After what feels like eons, Cole finally responds. "Okay."

My eyes widens in surprise and slight alarm. "Wait. You're agreeing? Really?"

He shrugs. "Yeah, I guess. Sure. We'll do it."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Okay, no way. How come you're suddenly so cool with this? There has to be a catch."

"No catch."

"There's definitely a catch."

"There really isn't."

"Mmhmm," I reply disbelievingly.

Cole sends me an unimpressed look. "I thought you wanted this. Or have you changed your mind?"

"I do want this. Just not if there's a secret catch."

"Again, there isn't one." He pauses. "I just... never realised how quiet it was without you droning on about one of your random stories."

I scrutinise Cole for a second, and realise he is telling the truth. My eyes widen at this revelation. "Wait... so that's why you're suddenly so eager?" I question slowly. "You...missed me?"