skyla (a beatiful blonde blue eyed nort woman) blinked open her perfect purple eyes.... "huh??? where am I??" she questioned.
"hey. you. you're finally awake." said another beautiful blonde blue eyed nord woman except it was a man. "you weere trying to cross the border, right? walked right into thay imperial ambu-"
"what the frick(she does not say swears becase swears are dirty and she is a smol pure bean uwu) are you talking about" said skyla beautifully. "i just started the game. i don't remember any ambush" she stated smartly.
"i have no idea what you're talking about but you are sexy and hot and epic and a girl gamer. i don't know what a gamer is but you definitely are one" ralof noticed.
ulfric stormcloak (who is in the cart beside her) stared at her with his steel grey eyes. skyla stared back with her forest green orbs. it was a very romantic moment and ulfric knew that somehow she was special.
just then the cart started flailing wildly, and the driver turned to face the passengers.
"okay you stormcloak fucks. which one of you has the mods." he snarled evilly and smugly and also his breath smelled.
skyla sighed and handed over immersive weapons, realistic needs and diseases, frostfall, the one where thomas the tank engine replaces alduin, sans undertale follower mod, and cloaks of skyrim. the cart stopped flipping.
anyway they pulled into helgen
" aaaaaah ew ulfric you die" hadvar said plainly because he is a basic bitch. ulfric walked over to the block sexily because he is sexy
" next in line name" hadvar breathed stupidly because he is an idiot
"ralof. proud son of skyrim." ralof said epically and awesomely but not as epic and awesome as ulfric would have said it. ulfric and ralof exchanged mental brofists.
"yeah you die. next in line name"
hadvar screamed quietly
"lokir of rorikstead and i am not a stormcloak because i am not epic enough" lokir said sadly. hadvar shed a tear. "i know that feel bro" he also said sadly. lokir of rorikstead and hadvar began crying like stipud idiot baby imperial milk drinkers. they both died instantly after.
hadvar recovered from being dead for plot convenience and said " next in line name" again because he is a fucking idiot and barely knows how to speak
skyla stepped forward, her beautiful blonde Nord hair blowing in the wind. she gazef and hadvar with her piercing red eyes. her makeup would be on fleek if she wore any, but she is a natural beauty unlike madison at school who needs to cake on makeup in order to be even be considered remotely attractive. "skyla." she said awesomely
"oh my freaking fricking fucking Gods by the eight divines please have sex with me" hadvar sobbed
"ew no hehe" said skyla sassily. hadvar screamed in horrible agony and died again but for good this time.
"hey does this mean i get to skip helgen now?" skyla questioned. the girl imperial glared at her. "NO BITCH!!!!!! YOU DIE!!!!!!!!" she screamed bitterly and jealously because she was jealous that hadvar wanted to sex skyla and not her because skyla is hot and sexy and epic and a gamer girl and she was just some basic bitch that takes all the hot boys at school by putting on 5 pounds of makeup every single hour and taking pictures of herself licking controllers and putting them on facebook. fuck you madison the only reason daniel dating you and not me is because he thinks youre a gamer but youre obviously a fake and a thot and once i tell him about all my fortnite wins he's going t
skyla walked over to the chopping block and stood beside ralof.
"ulfric stormcloak you are too hot and sexy and a chad to live and you make us insecure about our small penises so we (the empire) have to kill you" said general tulliass
they beheaded the one stormcloak guy and then they called up skyla (who is important)
just then GRRROOOOOAAAAWAAAWAOOOUUAAAHGHHHGHH
"what noise??????!!!" said hadvar. he's back
"we're going to ignore it because im a fucking neanderthal and i want this big dick haver Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak to die" whined tulliass
"ok" said hadvar. skyla walked up to the chopping block with confidence and flair because she knew she wasn't going to die because she had just gone through the character design menu mere minutes ago. good job bethesda
"no i do not want to kill her she is so sexy and hot!!!!!" said the executioner. skyla giggled cutely and it made everyone blush because of how cute and sexy her laugh is
then alduin land on building and everyone died except the important characters
"rrraaarrrrrrgghggg i am alduin hi guys" he roared menacingly. meteors began raining from the sky
"bruh" ralof said relatably. "skyla get up. the g-"
skyla interrupted him by running past him. she ran straight for the tower. up the stairs, out the tower, down the road, stay close to the wall, hadvar died again, through the house, into the keep with ralof.
"what the fuck. how did i get in here" ralof said because he was standing outside seconds ago
"haha ive done helgen like a gazillion times. im a gamer girl remember" skyla said cutely and she winked. ralof blushed even though he had no idea what a gamer was. poor ralof.
"right so. take dead man's gear he doesn't need it" ralof said to skyla.
"hehe okie" skyla said, stripping into her bra and undies and putting on the stormcloak armor and equipping the axe. ralof unfortunately did not get to witness this since the game pauses when you go into an item menu so for him it just looked like she switched clothes instantly which disappointed him immensely.
skyla basically carried ralof through helgen keep since she saw everything coming because she is an epic and relatable gamer. she murdered all the imperials to death with barely any effort and she was hot and sexy while doing it.
once they were out of helgen alduin flew past.
"there he goes. looks like he's gone for good this time." ralof said
"hmm no he'll be back soon. that was alduin." skyla said cutely. ralof almost pissed himself
"ALDUIN??"
TO BE CONTINe
YOU ARE READING
THE BEST ULFRIC STORMCLOAK X DRAGONBORN FANFICTION EVER WRITTEN IN HISTORY
Fanfictionim having a fucking mental breakdown
