urge // jeongchan | ✓

one

ever since he was a child, jeongin liked to touch people. his parents would always tell him stories about how he was open to meet everyone as a baby and let anyone hold him, but when he was set down he would only want to be picked up again.

pre-school was when his personality started developing. shy? yes. introverted? maybe. really upset because he has no one to cling on to? of course.

jeongin didn't like strangers. he didn't like making new friends, it was hard for him. it was rare that anybody matched his preferred personality.

his teachers always liked him, and in the lower grades, he would even cling onto them too. it was until he reached third grade that he realized it was wrong. no other kids clung onto the teacher like him.

it was in fourth grade when he made his first friend. a sixth grader, park youngjin. a nice guy as he recalls, except when jeongin started to cling onto him and the guy said he was a fag. of course, jeongin had no idea what that meant, and when he went home that day he questioned his parents.

they were upset, but knew they had no right to call the school and complain, because jeongin would never stop clinging onto anybody he felt comfortable with.

it was always side hugs or cheek rubs with jeongin, but thigh touches and knee bumps were enough at lunch to keep him going.

middle school was when he started feeling things he didn't want to. gay? wouldn't accept it. he knows it's not wrong, he just couldn't wrap his mind around it. whenever he saw a gay person in the halls, he didn't mind. he thought it was cute, even.

in freshman year it was when he started getting panic attacks. his doctor said he had separation anxiety, he just rolled his eyes at that. he already knew, of course. jeongin found comfort in stuffed animals, soft things.

his parents bought him a cat, and it was certified as an emotional support animal. the cat, named turkey, was a huge help. it was only six months after they had gotten turkey when he fell sick, though. jeongin's family had no choice but to put him down because of terminal cancer.

a month after, they moved. jeongin didn't have any friends anyway, and he couldn't stand finding hairs of his old pet on his jeans.

nine months later, it's august again. first day of school, everything went okay. first week of school, still fine.

slowly but surely jeongin's medication just wasn't enough anymore. he really needed friends, but there was no method of finding any with his shyness. that was, until, a boy in his english class came up to him. han jisung, jeongin recalls.

"hey! my name is jisung, han jisung, and you look really cute! i mean, platonically.. you just look really fuzzy, hehe." jeongin had just blushed in response to jisung's words, thanking him and turning back to his book.

what he didn't expect, though, was that jisung stayed. he never left, even. he sat down in the desk next to jeongin's, smiling brightly.

days became weeks, and weeks became months. jisung hanging out at jeongin's house was now a regular occurrence.

"hey, jeongin," jisung waved his hand in front of the younger's face, trying to get his attention. jeongin was deep in thought.

"hey jisung, i think i'm gay." the older froze and looked at jeongin with an undefineable expression.

"okay, i like someone else though." jeongin immediately slapped jisung, the smiley squirrel boy would never be more than a best friend.

"no, silly." he chuckled.

"oof, okay. do your parents know?"

"not yet." both males sighed, jisung later encouraging him to come out to his loving parents.

a week later, when both of his parents were home from work, jeongin had come downstairs to sit on the couch. "mom, dad, i have something to tell you."

they smiled at him. when he came out, they were a little shocked. they didn't understand why, but they accepted it, and that's all that matters. they weren't going to disown his son for loving who he wants, even if they thought it was a little strange. it was a process to get used to it, the family thought.

january of sophomore year, jeongin met chan. a foreign exchange student from australia, apparently. the braced-boy was used to jisung's friendliness, as the older had approached him himself. he did not expect for jisung to invite a very attractive stranger to the lunch table without his permission though.

right when the australian sat down, he panicked. panicked as in, face red and tears flowing. jisung immediately rushed over, putting the boy in his lap and hand on his waist.

"hey, jeongin, it's okay." jeongin just snuffled and turned away from the other that was now staring at them.

"i think he hates me now, 'sungie." jeongin whispers to jisung, the other just laughing and insisting that the oldest does not hate him.

jeongin settled himself on the comfy spot he knew as jisung's thighs, waving shyly at the newcomer with a red hue on his cheeks.

"hi. i'm j-jeongin!"

the 'very attractive boy' just smiled at the youngest.

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a/n: yeah that's the first chapter so !! if anything confused you please comment
also the rest of the chapters will probably be about half the size hehe
pls vote if u liked it
n even if u didn't
thanks for stopping bye uwu have a good day.