urge // jeongchan | ✓

three

(a/n: thanks for y'alls feedback :( it means a lot)

"jisungie, you're lying" jeongin shook his head, not believing that his only friend was leaving him for a whole five days.

"jeongin. it'll be okay, okay? i can give you my stuffed bear. you can hold him during the time, okay?" jisung smiled at the younger, hoping to calm his nerves.

jeongin just nodded, defeated. he felt spoiled, he knew jisung wouldn't miss out on his family vacation for him. jeongin thought jisung deserved a break, and it was worth the pain of being alone at school for a week.

suddenly, tears started to escape his eyes. fat drops of water rolled down his cheek and fell to the floor. jeongin changed moods more often than felix dyed his hair.

jisung rushed to bring his hands up to jeongin's face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

"hey, hey. it'll be okay, okay?" jisung assured the younger but jeongin just shook his head.

"i'm sorry for acting like this," jeongin took a deep breath in, trying to calm his nerves. "it's just, i have no one else."

jisung gave a weak smile and left towards his closet, pulling out a small brown bear that had a red bowtie on. he started towards jeongin and handed him the soft stuffed animal.

jeongin smiled and told jisung that he had to go, so he set off and started walking towards his house with the stuffed animal.

he lived about 30 minutes away from jisung, and he always enjoyed the comforting walks back to his house. jeongin held the bear's paw in one hand, swinging his arms back and forth.

of course, he got some weird glances and looks from strangers he passed on the street. he was pretty used to it, though, and took no offence. after all, he was a kind-of grown boy walking on the streets with a brown teddy bear.

when he arrived home, both of his parents were out. he kicked off his shoes and walked up the carpeted stairs, entering his room and immediately flopping down on his bed after closing his door.

he rolled off of his bed and inched towards his closet, pulling out a worn cardboard box. jeongin shuffled out of his uncomfortable skinny jeans and opened the box, slipping on soft panda thigh-highs. they made him feel cute, and they were fuzzy. he felt warm.

jeongin put on a short pink skirt, relaxing under the soft fabric. normally, people would think girly clothes are uncomfortable, but he thought the flowy skirt and thigh-highs were comfortable and they made him feel cute.

he went back to his bed and laid down on it, gazing down at his outfit. he loved it, that's for sure. jeongin grabbed the bear that jisung had given him and nuzzled it, it smelled like jisung. it felt like jisung. sadly, though, it wasn't warm like his best friend.

jeongin felt clingy. he felt annoying. he felt needy. jeongin wishes he didn't always want to feel things.

the next day, a monday, he walked into school with his bear. the only time he ever wore anything remotely-girly out is when he had nothing else to comfort him. he had worn leggings with some short jean shorts, and an extra long pastel pink sweater.

he got some weird looks, sure. jeongin couldn't tell if it was because of the outfit or the bear, though. he put away stuff at his locker, and started walking towards class.

he got shoved a few times, but he was used to it. the last time jisung left he wore a skirt, but he got made fun of a lot more. he promised himself, 'never again.'

classes went by, leaving him all fidgety. lunch was usually the time when jeongin would cuddle with jisung the most.

instead, he sat alone at lunch. he held his bear and whispered to it until he felt a weight at the other side of the bench. it was chan, otherwise known as the 'very attractive boy.'

chan waved at jeongin, eyes trailing down his body and then turning his face away with a red blush.

"you look cute today." chan commented.

jeongin frowned a little bit.

"thank you, i feel comfy in clothes like this. i miss 'sung..." he stopped himself  from saying anything else. chan probably thought he was weird. after all, he did have a teddy bear in his lap.