𝘜𝘔𝘉𝘙𝘌𝘓𝘓𝘈 ; jikook

十八

Hoseok,

woke up all sweaty, a high pitched scream living his already exhausted body as tears flow down his cheeks.

"I AM SORRY! JUNGKOOK! FORGIVE ME!"

His hands flew up against his bare chest as he hit himself in attempts to make the pain fade away. It just hurt more.

His hands went down again as they clenched the sheets as he let out small yells and panted.

Another nightmare.

Just another one.

He slowly calmed down as he shakily stood up from the bed and looked around. The room was dark, since it was night. The decorations that used to shine brightly beige in the light were now another shade of grey to make it a little different from the white and black colours.

Hoseok pulled a hand trough his hair as he repeatedly paced back and forth. His mind was wandering off and the last thing he wanted to do was to think about Jungkook.

He just felt so sorry.

So sorry.

-flashback

I was staring at him sleeping calmly. Something inside of me made me want to do it quickly, another side of me was almost punching me for being this stupid.
This selfish.
This ignorant.
This mean.

Jungkook's chest raised slightly as it fell down in a slow pace, making me sure about the fact that he still was asleep.

My shaky hands grabbed the coloured pillow as my eyes watered. My sight got blurry and I hesitated for a moment.

But my evil side was feeling itself a little more today, so my body forced itself towards his weak, sleeping one.

My hands raised the pillow just above his head and I took a quick breath and took a glance around myself.

Nobody was there.

I pulled one of my hands out and placed on his mouth, to quiet down screams. My other hand held the pillow. My heart beat crazily fast as my uneven breathes tried to destroy my focus.

But it all happened in a second. I got the courage and pushed the pillow down towards his ethereal face, and just a few seconds later his muffled voice against my hand was heard. His body was twisting and turning, his legs kicking under the blanket, his head trying to turn away, trying to breath.

But I was succeeding. I was suffocating Jimin's love. I was suffocating Taehyung's love.

I was suffocating a friend.
I was murdering my weak friend.

His body's strength kept on decreasing as his hands soon just laid there.

Suddenly, my mind was back, my ears rang, my tears kept flowing, my lips trembled and my hands lost their grasp. The pillow was soon thrown away by me as I stepped backwards.

I disgustingly stared at my hands as I kept on crying.

I looked at him, his eyes wide open as he was crying after his breath his body moving as he coughed repeatedly.