I'm Coming Home

chapter: Five ; Explosions

Chapter: Five 

ARIANA'S P.O.V: 

**Three Months later** 

The tour had ended, days became less hectic, less apperances made from the boys and Mark leaving me less to myself. The apartment now seeming so small even with only two individuals staying in it. The boys always around, being loud disturbing the serene enviroment I became used to.

The window beside my bed showing the gray sky the city down below cars honking crowds of people walking, talking some yelling.  

The door opening from my periphile vision the figure standing still, steady breathing. "hey" my eyes ripping from the city to his green eyes. The shaggy curls dangling all around his face making the pale skin seem magestical. hey I nodded, my eyes shifting with his movements towards my bed. Eyebrow raising as he sat quiet, his face saying more then his mouth had in the few moments together. With out thinking a small chuckle released from my lips his eyes scrunching closer confusion taking over him.  

My elbow nudging into his side bodies swaying away and back a deep smile spread to his cheeks. "What's going on curly" the teasing in my voice most obivous. Shaking his head nothing the expression on his face becoming it's normal self no confusion nothing but a grin with dimples caving into his inner cheeks. "alright" not pushing the subject something inside telling me I wasn't ready to know what?

"You're different then most people I know?" He broke the silence his voice sounding more raspy then normal most likely from a cold he was catching on to. "how so?" I asked peering into his orbs the warmth inside of me overwhelming. "Just are" his words simple yet enough to know he meant it as a compliment, I wanted to tell him he was different too, that he was special, that when I was around him I feel like being myself was the only way, I wasn't shy to be near him and he didn't frighten me. I wanted to say so much but none of those words were the ones to leave my mouth:

"Thanks, I guess" my thumbs fumbling with one another air caught in my throat forming into a lump constraining itself making my breathing sound more like gasps. "I'm not gonna hurt you" he spoke softly more then likely hearing the unsteady rhythm of my own breathing. I knew when I was with him I'd be okay, I knew he'd never touch me with my say first, I knew he cared more then I he led on but the question was how much more? "I know" I replied trying to find his eyes hidden beneath his curls 

"Ariana?" voice soft, eyes still hidden. Nervous hands rubbing against each other making small sweat beads glisten on my own. The silence now creating anxious butterflies in the pite of my stomach. Waiting patiently for anything an action with words movements but everything stayed still the city below honking its way around the room the only noise heard in my ears, other then the pumping of my own loud heartbeat. 

"why do you stay in this room all day?" icy green eyes peering into my dull gray ones. Shrugging my shoulders no reasonable answer coming to mind. Opening up to him seeming like a stretch, way outside of the box somewhere I had yet to become comfortable with. "I guess just like to hear myself think" I went on not even sure if that was truth. My thoughts sometimes being my worst nightmare, being the reason I was scared to leave the apartment scared I'd see something I didn't like. My thoughts are what scared me most about this world. heavy sigh escaping his lips, my mind hinting the unconvinced action. 

"We both know that's not true" he spoke softly once again "Then why'd you ask?" I rubbed my eyes feeling the strain of oncoming tears. "I want to help you, I want to be a friend. But I can't if you keep closing me out" He stated eyebrows moving down complete seriousness taking over him and the atmosphere around us. "Help me?" I questioned slowly rising from the bed moving to the head board the same tight feeling in my chest from the day I had spoken to my parents pouring my heart and soul out to them, appearing.

"Who said I need your help?" the words sounding more harsh then intended, but in the heat of the moment not a single care was given. "This isn't something you or mark or any of the others can help with?" my watch on his becoming intense the grip on the wooden head board becoming tighter the white in my knuckles becoming paler. I pushed myself off the tingling of the blood rushing back to my fingers filled in me. My back to the boy, "this isn't some cut that you can clean up and hope it doesn't leave a scar. This" I turned to face his blank face pointing to me emphasizing the way I've reacted to my situation "is a like battle wound, no matter how much clean it up the scar will never leave". His heavy weight lifted from the bed aruptly facing me his eyes scrunched together creating creases in between his eyebrows. 

"Shit Ariana, I need you to talk to me talk to me as if I'm your diary tell me everything and I promise I'll keep my mouth quiet. That night at the hotel when you woke up crying, I know it wasn't just any nightmare. I'm not stupid" 

"You want me to talk to you? I questioned "yes" he exasperated "fine let's talk" I pointed to the bed motioning him to sit down. "let's go back to that night, shall we" I sniffled:

****Flash back****

Music loud body's intereigating each other pressed to one another back's glistened with sweat aroma filled with beer and shots. His thick brown hair was spotted from the middle of the room his friends surrounding him as he chugged the cool beer down, hands flying into the air shouts of accomplishment around him. Sneaking up to him hands covering his mysterious brown eyes. 

"hey sexy" he smirked as he turned around large hands resting at the base of my back the grin on his lips becoming contagious. Lips intertwing becoming one hands pushing me into him further and further. 

"See that's how bad I want you" He cooed in my ear as his hips ground into mine the inevitable buldge resting between his thighs. Short chuckles releasing from my lips getting an aroused excitment from that. 

grasping his hand leading him through the crowd to a corner our lips intertwining once more. His hand resting against the wall I was sprawled on his body creating a cage for me. dainty hands resting near his bum pushing him towards me wanting to feel the closness of his body, wanting to feel that safe feeling had created for me when it was him and I. Lips parting breathing heavy eyes gripping on to each other, small pecks making there way to my neck leaving love bites the making of soft grunts escape my lips as he bite down on the bruising skin now sucking on it leaving a red and blue mark there that soon would turn to purple. 

not thinking of the possible I followed his back through the crowd towards the steps. Thinking we'd find a place more quiet to enjoy one's presence, but the same thought not running through both our minds. 

The room was dark the music was loud the lyrics hazy from the locked door-

"Please stop" Harry's voice broke in. "What? Don't want to be my diary anymore?" I asked words harsh tears falling from my eyes from the relived experience. His voice not heard, my inner hatred towards people shooting through me "It took several hits but soon I was hazed the pain still there the pleads still said but no energy to fight-" Harry's head shaking at my statment about to say something but I interjected "wanna know how the story ends?" I asked his eyes meeting mine storms creating in the gray of my orbs. 

"He got off the hook a five hundred dollar fine for underage drinking, the whole town believing I was just a jelouse ex-girlfriend. Now I'm here and with what? Some guy who wants me to talk and when I do, he doesn't like what he hears?" fresh tears collecting the tightness in my chest increasing "so much for a diary" I spoke quietly, realizing I had all this hope set on him, thinking I had found away out of my thoughts out of this pain only to see that I was stuck. 

His hands layed lazily on top of mine "I can't bare to hear the way he hurt you" he confessed his large hands holding my small ones "because I think- I think, I'm falling in love with you" words almost unhearable soft as the exterior of rose petals. No words leaving my mouth tears drying to my bare cheeks. I felt the presence of him moving closer his nose nudging the base of my own his lips hovering over mine, eye's mostly closed only a sliver of green seen. My own gaze shuting away  from the world as his soft lips moved on to my own. A soft peak lasting minutes sparks shooting through my limbs a numbing feeling running through my blood, not the type that I'd never want to experience again but the kind I would. 

my life is like quick sand, the more I fight for it the faster I sink. Then when I start to believe my saviour has arrived with the big wooden stick to pull me out, I fall back in. 

It makes me wonder when I'd fall back in this time?