Story of a Teenage Nothing

Just A Minute

"Nope, your head isn't that warm. I don't think you'll pass for having a fever." Mellie removed her hand from my forehead. I was thinking up some ways at feigning illness, but so far none of my ideas were working out.

"How about if I say I have a stomach ache? The nurse will let me stay out then right?" I persist, trying to find some way to get out of class.

"She'll just embarrass you, and ask if you need to use the toilet." Mellie answered back.

"Ugh, Mellie, you're not giving me the answers I'm looking for." I said, slouching in my seat, disappointed.

"You say you want the truth, but you can't handle the truth!"

"Oh hush up." I stuck my tongue out at her, and went back to moping.

We were in Mr. Kelly's class, not doing our math assignments as usual. There was no way in hell that I wanted to be in photography class that day, but I hadn't found a way to avoid it. I just didn't want to deal with Logan, and I'd been dreading sitting at the same desk as he all weekend. I was even tempted to skip school, but I had a history test, and I realized how foolish it would've been to miss school because of boy issues. Then again, I couldn't even say "boy issues" cause it's not like Logan, and I qualified as anything anymore. We were not even friends. :(

But I believed that it was better like that anyway... Logan could move on, and find other girls (albeit not Jenny), and I was going to... well I needed to swear off boys for the time being- they're nothing but trouble. I wished him the best... I guess. I mean the first semester was coming to a close, and I wasn't going to have photography will Logan staring in January. Though, the thing is, as much as I tried, I couldn't seem to convince myself that I'd be happier that way.

"You're going to just have to face the music, Kim." Mellie said, taking her glasses off, and rubbing at her eyes. "Sure, it will be awkward, but there's no point running away from your problems."

"I know." I laid my head against the desk before me. "I just wish that I didn't have these problems to begin with."

"Don't we all?" Mellie soothingly patted my back.

Mr. Kelly saw then that we were not working, and made us separate a desk, and I had to at least try to work diligently for the rest of the period, but I couldn't help but feel heavy-hearted. The period soon passed, and I was again on my way towards my doom, to "face the music", as Mellie said. The problem was that I wasn't so sure of what I would be facing. Friday night did not make Logan's feelings clear to me. He said straight up that he didn't want to be my friend, however he continued to try to talk to me for the rest of the evening. My mind was so confunckled by his mixed messages. It's wasn't the music that worried me, but how the music was going to sound, if you catch my drift.

So I managed to make it through orchestra, and then physics, gulping when the final bell rang, signaling that I had photography next. I wanted to walk as slowly as possibly, slowly enough so that by the time I reached the classroom, the period would be over then. However, I knew that wasn't possible, and there's no way I wanted detention either. I got to the basement of the school, and entered the photography class on time. As I walked down the aisle to my seat in the back of the class I heard my name called, and I turned my head sideways to see a pink cheeked Jenny waving at me. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I managed to smile back in acknowledgement. She's not so bad... as long as she isn't stealing my man... I mean... *cough*

So, to my dismay of course, I go to my seat, and lo, and behold. Logan is sitting there, his eyes staring at me from behind the lens of his spectacles. I say nothing as I pull the chair from behind the desk, drop my back pack on the ground, and take my seat besides him. The moment is tense, but luckily he doesn't address me, and I'm happy that I was being spared any conversation. I really should learn not to count my chickens though because from the corner of my eye, I saw Logan swivel his head, and his mouth opened as if to say something. Just then, Mr. Whomeverheis cleared his throat, indicating that he had some announcement to make. Phew! Saved by the blading guy with a gray mustache.

"Do not forget your partner assignments that will be due this upcoming Wednesday. Remember pick three techniques that we've learned this semester, and tell a story with your photographs. Be creative. Let's review for the final now, however."

The lecture dragged on, and I was glad for that. I actively took notes, not giving Logan one glance the whole time. Perhaps I seemed foolish, but I was only giving him the same treatment he subjected me to. After forty minutes of hearing Mr. Whoever's voice drone on, the bell rang, and I sprang out of my seat, not bothering to put my books in my back pack. I made a beeline for the door, and was out of the classroom in no time. In my rush, though, I dropped one of my notebooks, and I had to stop to pick it up. As I began rising, two shoes came into my line of sight. My heart lurched in my chess, for I recognized those ratty, beat up gray converses.

I took a deep breath of air, and rose to stand face to face with Logan. My breath caught in my throat for a moment though, and I was at a loss for words. Here comes the music.

"We need to talk, Kim. Please." Logan said to me in a grave voice, his seriousness making me uncomfortable.

"You're absolutely right. We haven't even discussed the project yet, and it's gonna be a huge part of our grade. I don't have any ideas right now, but we should brain storm this afternoon, and discuss them tomorrow in class. Sounds good?" I said in a loud, and peppy voice. Maybe that way, he wouldn't hear the sound of my knees rattling together.

He stared at me then, his mouth in a tight, grim, line.

"Yes, but-"

"Great! I'm glad you agree. Have a good afternoon!" I respond, and turn quickly on my heel to make my getaway. A firm hand clutches my arm then, and stopped me from fleeing.

"My gosh, can you just wait a minute?" Logan said, his tone of voice revealing his anger.

I turned, stunned by his sudden action.

"I'm trying to get a word in, and you just keep butting in!" He continued.

Now, by then, I suppose that I'd have had enough of our game of cat, and mouse, and I just snapped right back at him.

"You have no right to get mad at me!" I wrenched my arm out of his grasp. "All I've been trying to do is get a word in these past weeks, and now all of a sudden you wanna talk, huh? You want to express your feelings? It's too late. You've said all I've needed to hear." My voice shook from the fervor of my emotions.

"Kim, look, I know I've been acting like a jerk to you lately, but if you'd let me just explain-"

"Explain what? How you just decided to throw our friendship away? Trust me, that was loud, and clear to me. Let's just get this assignment over with, so we can both go our separate ways?"

As I said those words, a part of me wanted to take them back. It was quiet then, and I stared down at my sneakers, unwilling to look into those hazel eyes of his.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that." He said softly, and I nodded my head, still avoiding his gaze. "We can do as you said. We'll talk tomorrow in class about what our idea is exactly, and then we can get it done at my place. Is that alright?" He inquired.

I thought about it for a moment. Going to his place meant that I'd have to be in the car with him, and that would ensure an awkward moment, but I guess I could sacrifice my comfortableness for education's sake.

"Okay. We'll do that." I agreed, my voice quivering slightly, revealing that I wasn't as unaffected as I wanted to seem.

I walked away from him then, not letting him get another word in. I was tired, tired of this strange race we were running. I didn't care who got to the finish line anymore, I just wanted to forfeit.