Broken Rose

Chapter Five: But Hurt Is Pain Even If It's The Mind's Game

Chapter 5: But Hurt Is Pain Even If It's The Mind's Game

- One Month Earlier -

Alec looked out the window, staring aimlessly. He was looking at everything down below; the mundanes living their lives, not knowing the fact that horrid murdering monsters roamed their streets seeking blood and death. With death followed bodies lining the streets and rooms till nothing was left but a bloody trail of destruction. Yet the mundanes knew nothing of this dangerous world they lived in and it made Alec want to laugh at their childishness. Their innocence that he wished for a thousand times over but no. He was forced into being a shadowhunter ever since birth. It did make him mad but he could not change it so there for he had to leave it be.

Magnus's reflection slowly drifted in the window that he was idly staring out of. He turned, looking at him, and smiled a smile that looked forced but Magnus didn't say anything, thankfully. Alec didn't want to talk about it. The way he still felt about everything including his very tiny amount of will to live but hey, that didn't need to be talked about. No, of course not. Why would it? Alec thought bitterly. He honestly should tell him about his decreasing mental health but when did he ever ask for help? Much less seek it out... the shadowhunters honestly should change that, it has gotten us killed before he thought unhappily, pouting to himself for once again being right. He hated that his mind was so much smarter than his heart.

Magnus smiled at him and that smile was real and happy but a little sad at the same time. That worried Alec. No, Magnus couldn't be sad. This didn't seem right.

"What's wrong?" he asked, scooting over a little to make room on the window seat for him. Magnus just shook his head, sitting with his back against the opposite wall. He looked at his Alexander with fondness.

"Nothing's wrong, per say. It's just..I'd like to ask something of you, my beloved," he smiled, brushing his hand wearing the ring over Alec's cheek. He cupped his face gently before sitting back again. Alec nodded.

"If it is within my power I'll most certainly fulfil it." Magnus nodded his understanding and then took a moment to gather his words.

"I'd like you to promise me that you'll never hurt yourself on purpose again. As long as I'm here to love and help you, please reach out to me before picking up a blade to slit your beautiful pale skin. Can you promise me this, Alexander Lightwood?" Alec looked at his hands. Could he promise Magnus this? Would he be able to keep it? He didn't want to make a promise to him without knowing if he'd be able to fulfill the requirement or not. He never wanted to let him down, to make him disappointed in him. It would destroy him.....

"Yes."

By the angel.....What had he just done....?

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-Now-

Alec glanced at the group. He didn't want them to worry about him for no reason. He honestly wasn't worth it. Right now the biggest thing was to bring Magnus home and...Magnus was going to leave him again. He wouldn't want him after everything. Oh, angel. He broke his promise to him. Of course he wouldn't want him anymore. The fact coursed through him like wildfire. He was tainted yet again by a blade slicing across his skin. It upset Alec more than anyone could ever know...

I'm weak to have let myself fall for something like pain. I'm a shadowhunter, I protect everyone around me. Yet I can't seem to protect myself and it confuses me. I don't like this feeling of helplessness. It makes me feel like I'm being drowned alive and I can't seem to find the top. I can't breathe...I can't...

Jace glanced at Alec, stuffing his bag full of stuff so he could go to seelie and then from there to edom to finally end this all. Whether it was with or without him coming home. It didn't matter to him as long as Alec.... There was blood on his shirt sleeve....blood was on Alec. That meant- oh angel, that meant he needed to watch him closer and they HAD to find Magnus. It was a matter of Alec's life or death.

Yet again he couldn't do shit to save him. He was hurting and cutting once again and all Jace could do was go get Magnus because he couldn't do anything himself. Alec wouldn't listen to him and it broke pieces of his heart. It made them fall to the bottom of his stomach, to know he was utterly useless in helping his parabatai. He shoved everything in his backpack and started going to the portal, not even glancing at Alec. He only knew how to do one thing. It was to shut everyone out so that's what he'd do....

Like Valentine said, everyone will leave me...

But they can't if I leave first.

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After everyone was ready and packed, everyone stood nervously at the portal. It was new and dangerous and, well, scary. Jace was void of any and all feelings, face blank like a piece of snow white paper that took a step forward and looked at them all.

"Come on, let's go. Nothing will happen if we stay standing here. Our family is trapped there! We are the only ones who can save them and that's what we'll do. Now, let's go." He turned and stepped through the portal and everyone followed like little soldiers marching to their deaths.

And to seelie they fell.

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-Edom-

Magnus groaned, looking around everywhere. He felt like he was dying and that scared him. He couldn't die, Alec needed him. Rushing over to him, Rachel and Luke looked at him worriedly.

"Are you okay?" Raf asked. Luke responded with a "you look like death."

The doors swung open and the little brat entered, the one who started all this. Luke growled, his eyes turning a forest green. Their usal blue was long gone with the arrival of Jonathan Morgenstern. Jonathan only grinned.

"You're all so funny. You think you can take... me?" he asked, laughing, "oh no, that is more than funny. It's... refreshing." Luke growled.

"What did you do to your mother?!" He demanded loudly. Jonathan's face fell.

"She's not my mother. She tried to kill me. A mother wouldn't do that. They're supposed to love you. Mine does not."

Luke growled, "you're a monster." He just rolled his eyes in reply to this.

"Yes, yes, I know. Anyway, who wants to go home?" All present looked sceptical. Jonathan just grinned.

"You, vampire, want to go home?" To that, Raphael nodded. Jonathan pulled out a knife and handed it to him, handle pointed toward him.

"If you want to go home...."

"Kill the warlock." It was eerily quiet waiting for Raphael to take it or not and for once, Magnus was scared...

He might not make it home.

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Wow I'm so sorry this took so long but this past month I've been in the ER twice and it sucks but I also have good news. My birthday is coming up so yeah, I'll try to get a chapter out before the 24th because I might not get it out that Saturday since my friend is staying a week at my house. I'll try okay. Now for the thanks of this chapter!!

Lucifer_Larry

For the amazning job editing. Thank you so much. Without you my stories wouldn't be here. Well, they would, they'd just be very hard to read. You're amazing and I love you!

-vampiregraphics

For the beautiful covers. They are so pretty that it hurts to look at them. I love them and they make me happy! You're amazing too, so very sweet. I love you both!

I have good news for those of you that have heard that Broken Rose will get eight chapters and that's it. Well, it might just get nine so there is that to look forward to!! Please make sure to coment and vote. Thanks for reading! Love you all.