"Thoughts?” A man asked, holding a pen and a pad of paper on his lap. He looked at you intently as if observing every detail of your being.
You felt uncomfortable sitting in front of him. You took a deep sigh and slumped on your seat further before answering. "Sometimes... sometimes I wonder what tomorrow will be like if I die today..."
The man wrote something on his paper. "Is there any reason why you're having these thoughts?"
You shrugged. "I just... just, I don't know. Lately, there are thoughts running in my head. I started questioning stuff in this world and beyond. And... and I even began questioning things I have never given thought about before. Like, like existence itself."
The man cocked a brow. "Your existence?"
You nodded your head slowly. "Kind of."
The man adjusted his glasses. "Would you tell me about it?"
You hesitated, but you knew you had to. You awkwardly fiddled with your fingers to somewhat ease the discomfort you felt. "You know, I just thought that i-it's kind of-of a little grandiose...."
You paused for a moment.
“What is? Come on. You can tell me," the man urged.
You scratched your forehead. "Existence. Or at least people's idea of existence. Our existence. I think it's, it's kind of a little grandiose, selfish and... stupid."
The man tapped his pen on his chin, genuine curiosity gleamed in his eyes. "Can you elaborate on that?"
“Well, you see.” You swallowed the lump that had been stuck in your throat before going on. "People say we're special, one of a kind in the whole universe. But... but are we really?"
You pushed your back against your seat and leaned forward. "The universe is infinite. How can we say that we are the only ones who possess life? That we're the only beings who exist?"
The man nodded, coaxing you to go on.
“In the Milky Way alone, there are over one hundred billion stars. And within those host stars dwell at least one point six planets. If we're going to sum it all up, our very own galaxy is housing one hundred sixty billion alien worlds. That is a whole lot! The probability of the existence of other life forms is beyond statistics can handle! And that is just the Milky Way! There are still one hundred billion galaxies in the observable universe!”
"That is true," the man concurred. "The vastness of the universe is truly beyond human comprehension. And the possibility of other life forms outside earth is highly probable. But so far, theres still no evidence to support that claim. "
You shook your head, disapprovingly. “NASA is taking a closer look at Kepler-452b. It is just one point six times larger than earth and is orbiting in the habitable zone of a sun-like star. This could be one of the best places in our galaxy so far to look for extraterrestrial life!"
The man smiled. “Okay, for the sake of the argument that I believe that there is indeed life outside our world, what about it? Where are you going with this?"
You paused, and slumped back to your seat.
“N-Nowhere, really. I just want to let you know that that we are not special. There are other life forms out there. The universe will not stop if suddenly we disappear from existence. The sun will still rise from the east and will set to the west. The flowers will still continue to bloom, to pollinate, to create new ones. Cant you see how insignificant we are? We may be gone today but the universe moves on.”
"Interesting," the man said. He continued to scribble things down on his paper. You began to wonder what he was writing down there.
"So, your existence in this vast universe youve mentioned," the man began after jotting some notes down. "Lets talk about it."
You bit your lip. Your throat suddenly felt dry. “There's nothing to talk about..."
"I think there is."
"There's none, tho." Your voice raised a little. "Stop pestering me. Just leave me alone."
"Do you feel non-existent sometimes?" The man finally asked the question you had been avoiding.
You felt a pang of pain in your chest. His words were like knife against at an existing open wound. You felt angry.
You took a deep breath. "Do you feel sorry when you swat a fly? Do feel guilt when you squished the life out of a single ant? Do you ever stop and think what would an insect feel before you stomp your foot on it?"
The man didn't answer.
"No, because you only think about yourself," you answered for him. "You don't care if you're hurting anyone or anything. You just do you. You see us and don't give a shit if we're hurting or not. We don't matter to you. We're insignificant... worthless... the lost and forgotten."
There was a moment of silence.
Finally, the man sighed, his eyes showed kindness and understanding. He put down his pen and paper. “You're lost, aren't you? You've lost your purpose. Are you afraid people will forget about you?"
You averted your eyes, tears started to form. "They already have."
Another moment of silence between you and the man.
"Listen," he said. "Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth. Believe me when I say, you matter. You do. Unless of course, you know, you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared, then you energy."
You actually cracked a smile in the man's attempt of a joke.
....
