One Shots [REQUEST CLOSED RN]

"Cardinal Copia, you are truly something"

Art work by the amazing @lTheRavenl . Thank you ever so much love for your hard work <3 

This one shot inspired by a small head canon me and darling have. It's NOT a fluff/smut/romantic one shot it's purely for comical reasons. 

Hope you guys enjoy it! 

Written from Mama's P.o.V

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It happened on an early Sunday morning. It was a gloomy day. The rain quietly tapped against the monastery's beautiful stained glass windows decorated with colourful glass and grucifixes. As I turned onto my side buried deep in the dark purple silk sheets my hand slid over to the other side of the bed but instead of a man I found nothing but an empty side. Again. Ever since the Cardinal been named the new leader Emeritus was restless and always on the edge. He stayed up late and woke up early, muttering to himself and ready to murder the cardinal for everything he did. It was actual quite entertaining to see how much he bothered him. I personally had no problem with Copia, I actually like him but he does have a lot to learn, if he survive that is. And the rats... the damn rats. They're everywhere. Don't get me wrong I like rats but not when you're trying to take a relaxing bath and when you open your eyes you find a pack of rats staring at you or swimming in your bath water...

After getting dressed I decided to look for Emeritus hoping he has not already killed Copia out of annoyance. Emeritus has a bit of a bad temper sometimes and it seems like Copia knows exactly what to say to push Papa's buttons and quite clearly he enjoys annoying the ex-pope. As much as it is fun and entertaining for me and the ghouls Sister Imperator and Papa Nil aren't very impressed but they leave it to them to sort it out.

"Damn it!" I curse as I walk through the corridor trying my best not to step on the army of rats running across under my feet. These things are seriously everywhere. As I try keep my eyes on the rats and try to make my way through them suddenly I bump into someone. As I look up I see Fire standing there with rats hanging off his shoulder and holes in his mask. "What on Earth has happened to you?" I ask confused as I help him get the rats off of him. He just giving me a look and groan "Rats... They chewed holes into my mask and they chewed up nearly every single candle we had in the chapel!" he growls then suddenly we hear yell echoing through the whole monastery and we just exchange a knowing look... Papa.

We both hurry through the old building – as much as we can hurry from the rats that is- to find the source of the yell. Soon enough as we walk into the main dining hall we find Papa standing there with rats hanging off of him and the Copia standing there looking like an innocent child.

"Do you mind explaining why is the whole monastery SWAMPED by rats?" Papa growls at him as he holds up a rat by its tail giving the cardinal a death stare.

"They're part of my plan... They are harmless" he replies while he pets a rat that sits happily in his hand.

"Harmless?!" Papa raises his voice and I can see that particular vein on his forehead is about to pop and Satan save us when it does. "They're destroying the place!"

"They chew our uniform!" Fire exclaim joining the debate standing next to Papa who just forcefully gives him the rat.

"I am warning you Copia you get rid of the rats or by Satan you will see my wrath" Papa says in a dark tone and the Copia just give him a confused look once he finally looks up from his rat.

"Sorry, could you repeat that I wasn't paying any attention" he shakes his head and that's when Papa's vein pops. The second Copia turns around Papa is ready to jump at him and strangle him but Fire steps in and I run up to him holding him back.

"Let me go, I'm going to kill him! Release me!" he growls as he tries his best to wriggle himself free but thankfully Fire was strong enough to hold him back.

"Emeritus calm down!" I look at him trying to calm him down somehow but obvious with no success.

"I will not calm down this clown is not fit to be the new leader! I will show him! Let me go!" he keeps barking then I just growl and let him go stepping back lifting my hands up.

"I give up" I shrug. "Let him go Fire"

"Mama?" Fire gives me a confused look and I just wave my hand to let him go. Fire shrugs then just lets Papa go who's like a caged up animal marches towards Copia. Fire and I just stand there waiting for the impact but the second Papa jumps onto the cardinal he exclaims "Oh a penny!" and bends down causing our beloved ex-pope to fly over him straight into a stone pillar. Me and Fire both hiss and clench our eyes. "That outta hurt..."

The cardinal picks his head up to the sound of groaning and looks around confused. "What happened?"

"Nothing! Let's go for a walk, shall we?" I exclaim as I hurry up to him and pretty much drag him out of the hall before Papa regains consciousness fully after his impact with the pillar and try to attempt murder again, which more than likely would cause him to hurt himself more.

The rest of the day spent with us trying to stop Papa from destroying Copia but unfortunately karma was indeed a bitch. Whatever Papa planned backfired to him. At the end of the day he returned to the dining hall with his clothes ripped, covered in dirt, burn marks; his hair was a mess and he was done. He pretty much collapsed into the large velvet dining chair and just let out a painful and annoyed groan. "I give up..." he mumbled in a tired voice.

"Are you alright?" we heard a voice from behind Papa finding Copia standing there stroking a rat looking incredibly confused as he looked at the exhausted and beaten ex-pope who just let out a dramatic cry and slammed onto the table groaning against the waxed oak. Fire and I just shake our heads and sigh. The cardinal shrugs then walk past Papa but before he left he glanced at us with a smirk playing across his lips, giving us both a wink then just walked out swinging his cane and that's when we realized; he was playing with Papa the whole day.

Cardinal Copia... you are truly something.