Bad Bitch ⋙ N.Romanoff

t w e n t y

BAD BITCH
❝these were the women who knitted pain into glory❞

20. Goodbyes don't last Forever

April 2007

❝What do you mean: you're leaving?❞
Svetlana ground out and Natalia can't help but rethink her decision. They'd been hidden for six months, moving from country to country as they so pleased, but even Natalia could tell that Hydra were getting closer to them with everyday. Every morning for six weeks she'd woken up, arms wrapped around Svetlana, and she'd known that one day, she would wake up to their superiors armed at their door.
It had been fun to begin with. The thrill of the chase had filled both women with adrenaline, as well as knowing that they could pleasure one another whenever they so desired, but Natalia was quickly becoming tired of the constant paranoia that loomed over their heads. She knew they couldn't sustain a life together without dangers, she'd known that from the every beginning, but she hadn't expected for them to be given a way out. If she hadn't of been offered recruitment, she would have happily continued to like in fear because at least she'd have Svetlana and they'd be together. Yet, Natalia yearned deeply for stability. It was a deep dark secret of hers, a secret that Hydra would have never indulged, but she truly wished for a peaceful life. All she wanted was to find friends, family, and a career that she loved and she knew she wouldn't get any of her desires if she continued running away with Svetlana.
It wasn't as though she was abandoning the woman, Natalia had to remind herself. Despite the way the woman was making it sound, Natalia didn't wish to leave her lover behind. She loved Svetlana, she'd been admitted it to her on multiple occasions beforehand, and Natalia didn't leave the ones she loved willingly. Natalia's heart seemed to break violently at every look Svetlana threw her, making her feel sick with the need to apologise, but she continued to remind herself that Svetlana had a choice to follow her as well. The thought that technically Svetlana was walking away from Natalia only soothed her pains slightly.

❝You can come with me. They offered me the spot for both of us - we could be good for once - safe.❞
Svetlana only scoffed. Svetlana knew that Natalia meant well with her words. She also knew that she wasn't making the decision any easier for Natalia to leave but she just couldn't bring herself to let go of her. Everything inside her screamed to follow her wherever she chose to go but Svetlana also knew that she wasn't good material.
❝I'm too far gone, Natalia.❞
Svetlana grumbles, eyebrows furrowed in pain, as she stares at the woman for a moment. Natalia had already packed up the few objects, and many outfits, she'd accumulated during their travels and was going to leave her alone at any moment. Her hands shook slightly, Svetlana noticed, but she just tried to push away the pain she felt so she could avoid making Natalia feel any more guilty.

Natalia had met Clint Barton on her way through Lagos. She'd been walking through the market stalls by herself, letting Svetlana sleep in for once as the woman was beginning to tire more easily from their constant vigilance, and buying random fruits on her way. She only left their home to soak in the sunshine, knowing that she had to force herself outside at some point, but had begun to get a basic grip of the native language as well - testing herself to make conversation with the people who were selling her the fruits. One of the main reasons as to why she knew so many languages was, in fact, because of her travels with Svetlana. They only stayed in a country for a few weeks but it was more than enough time for them both to learn the language fluently as they'd had so much experience with others.
So Natalia had had a normal visit to the market stalls. She'd spoken to as many people as she could, watching as she improved before their very eyes, and was beginning to make her way back to their small apartment when she'd seen a fight break out as she'd walked past a back alleyway. Now, Natalia knew not to wander aimlessly down the alleyways of Lagos, no matter how confident she was in her abilities, but she had been particularly drawn to the particular fight. She'd stopped by the opening to the alleyway and watched the parties counteract each other's attacks. They fought with power and technique, trained for decades just as she had, but she didn't recognise any of them as Hydra so she'd walked even closer. It seemed as though the fight consisted of one man against ten others. Yet, the singular man, skin white which immediately interested Natalia's curiosity, seemed to be only just struggling with the overwhelming amount of men against him.
It was only when she'd seen a knife flash against the sunlight, did she intervene. She hadn't planned to get too involved. She didn't want to steal the man's thunder and definitely didn't want to start fighting like she had done for Hydra again but she knew that the man, who was dressed in an organisation's uniform, was in the right immediately.
She'd ended the fight quickly. Grabbing the knife that was about to plunge into the lone man's neck, she swung herself up and around the man's neck and twisted enough for him to be knocked unconscious. Taking the knife, she used it to slice through the men's arms and used her elbow to jab any others in the jugular. Taking one man's arm from behind her, she pulls his whole body over her back and onto the floor again which seemed to do the trick. Within a second, she sent the knife flying through the air and watched as it sliced through three men's sides and kicked the remaining survivor hard in the liver and watched as they all fell like bowling pins.
Natalia took a few seconds to regain her breath again.
She hadn't fought like that in months and, despite how sick she felt for feeling it, she felt a rush of satisfaction at seeing what she'd left behind.