A Beautiful Secret (OHSHC)

The Worst of Me

I never meant to make it such a mess
I never thought that it would go this far
So I just stand here, depressed
Searching for something to say
Something to say...

Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say

I guess I thought I could be part of this..
I never had this kind of thing before, I never had that sweet guy friend
"'How's the ice cream, Yu-chan?!' Honey questions me with a piece of cake stuck on his cheek.

'It taste like ice-cream.' I quickly write, Honey begins to laugh. I don't recall doing anything funny or humorous.'"
Who somehow could see the good part of me..

I never had a club who messed around, No corny jokes or tall tales
No group of friends who just was there 'cause friends were all that they had to be..

That's not a worthy explanation
I know there is none
Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say

Except sometimes, you see everything you wanted
And sometimes, you see everything you wish you had
And it's right there, right there, right there
In front of you
And you want to belong
So you try to belong
And you think maybe everybody thinks you're wrong
And hates you much more than you do

This was just a sad escape
It wasn't real, I know
But you were happy
I guess I couldn't let that go
I guess I couldn't give that up
I guess I wanted to believe
'Cause if I just believe
Then I don't have to see what's really there

No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than these broken parts
Pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am
'Cause then I don't have to look at it
And no one gets to look at it
No, no one can really see

'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
I never let them see the worst of me

'Cause what if everyone saw?
What if everyone knew?
Would they like what they saw?
"'I know you're a sweet, kind, and a beautiful girl. You've just been around the wrong people so you find that hard to believe. I want to help you, Yu. Why won't you let me?'"
Or would they hate it too?
"'Honey was so nice to you but you can't even say you're leaving? What's with you and manners?! I've been trying to keep quiet since your Haruhi's cousin but this time you've gone to far!' He yells at me, I pick my marker to write something but he slaps it out of my hand along with my board, 'Use your words! You're not deaf!'"
Will I just keep on running away from what's true?

All I ever do is run
So how do I step in
Step into the sun?
Step into the sun
_______________

{Haruhi's P.O.V}

Before I can burst out in tears she starts moving, "It's a lie!" Yu exclaims. I fall to the floor, what a cruel joke..I want to yell at her, I want to hit her, but somehow only laughter comes at.

"I hate you!" I say jokingly, she gives me a peace sign.

___________

{Haruhi's P.O.V}

I can't look away, she's hanging there limp. She's lifeless, she's dead...I fall down to my knees crying loudly. Kaoru and Hikaru get her body down. They have a really sad expression planted on their faces. Honey cries onto Mori-senpai and I can tell that he wants to cry too.

"I never got to apologize..I was wrong, I knew I was wrong but I didn't want to admit it. And now look where it got me, I made someone commit suicide..." Tamaki says with a horrid expression tears falling down his face.

Kyoya contacts my father as well as an ambulance. My father comes right away pulling me into his arms full of sympathy. The ambulance sirens draw near. It doesn't feel like she's gone. It doesn't feel real at all. I want this to be a joke or maybe even a terrible dream but it's reality and reality fucking sucks.

The police were also notified as well, one of the men come out and hand me a letter addressed 'To Haruhi and her friends–from Yu'

I call the host club over and I start to read the letter out loud "'Dear Haruhi as well as the host club. You've probably discovered my dead body by now, I mean that's the only reason you could be reading this letter. I tried to work the courage up to meet you guys. I tried to fight my battle but I guess I lost, stupid right?

First off, I'm sorry Tamaki, I know you think this is your fault but it isn't. I just couldn't take it anymore. I received a message earlier this day when I was preparing to meet you guys that they had to unplugged my parents.

What is there to live for when everyone you care for most is dead? And you're stuck thinking 'Why did I have live? Why did I survive?'. The thought beats you up until your nothing more then broken pieces in a human body.

Haruhi, if I was there now you'd probably tell me that suicide isn't the answer and that you could help me. I'm going to be blunt but what could you possibly ever do? There's no helping me, I'm far too damaged beyond hope. You're a good cousin and friend so don't let this event destroy your whole future.

Honey, you made me smile, I may not have shown it but you made me so happy and made me feel like I belonged. I would eat sweets with you any day. But I'll be enjoying them with my family from now on.

And for the rest of the host club, I never got to know you. You guys never said much or anything to me but I can tell you're good people too. So please take care of yourselves and be happy.

Lastly Uncle, you gave me a home when I had no place to call home anymore, I'm sorry I never told you what was going on. But those voices in your head get to you. Stay fabulous.

This is an opportunity for you guys to fight this pain and move forward. If I ever see you guys in the afterlife as soon as you finish this letter, I swear I'll kill you again.

Yours truly, Yu.'"

"She's gone but how can she tell us to move on?!" I cry out loud, Honey hugs me.

"Haru-chan, that's Yu's last word and we need to respect it. We have to move on or we'll end up miserable." Honey says on the verge of crying. I look around at everyone and they all nod.

"If it's her last word, I'm going to respect it till the day that I die. To make up for everything, though I feel like I never can." Tamaki says showing a smile as tears stream down his face.

Yu, you were an amazing person who hadn't reached her full potential yet. And I will always remember you. You changed my life, I'm glad to have met you but if I met you sooner, I would've been able to help. Rest In Peace.

The End