Finding Solace

Chapter 13 - Oak Tables & Nights Out

There was still time.

Time before I went back to university.

Time before I had to deal with society.

Time before the rumours and hisses would circulate.

Time before the divorce papers were going to come back.

I enjoyed this time and spent it with those of whom I loved and cherished. Those that knew the whole story and supported me no matter what.

Daliyah being the gem she is opted out of going on her family vacation. Instead, she moved into my house, making my alone time more bearable. She was wise not to bring up Fayaaz or any of the Adams for that matter, even though I knew it was something that was on her mind.

She's Daliyah.

She worries when she shouldn't. I know she's only looking out for me, and I know she thinks I'm still unstable about what happened over two weeks ago in India.

Truth be told, I don't know what I feel. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. When you're drowning in a puddle of questions that nobody can answer, its hard to think straight.

I don't know whether I'm supposed to be okay or to be not okay. I'm glad I wasn't emotionally attached to Fayaaz. The heartbreak, the heartache would have killed me. In a way I should be grateful that I knew him for such a short time.

So I guess I could say in some ways I'm okay.

'Where do you want this?' Daliyah asked as she carried the new boxes we had purchased.

'Umm, I dont know. My desk?'

She placed the boxes on the table and walked over to me dusting her hands.

'We did gooood!'

I looked around the room taking in the new coat of paint, the new rug, the new bed, the desk that was once my dad's. It was the most prominent piece of furniture in my room and it was my favourite. It had a rustic look to it and its rich oak stood out in my room that was made out of soft neutral shades.

'We did real good!'

We washed up and cleaned up all the remaining dirt and plastic then headed downstairs. It was past noon on a Sunday and Mouin had just finished his laps in the pool.

From behind the glass sliding doors he motioned to Daliyah and I.

'You two should go for a swim. The weather is amazing.'

'Amazing? I don't get why people say that. Its HOT! You could get a heat stroke.' I retaliated, not in the mood to get into the pool

'Suit your self.' He said, drying himself off then carefully making his way inside the house so that he didn't wet anything. 'What do you both want to do today?'

'Stay at home. Eat pizza. Watch a movie?' I replied

'Come on Atti! We've been doing that all week. Your brother is offering to take us out. We are going out!' Daliyah said in an exasperated tone.

She was right. I had sat at home like a couch potato all week, occupying myself with my room renovations so that I didn't have to think of 'other' things.

'I dont know Dalz. I mean, do I even go out? I know-'

'Oh God Attz, Mahmoud told you you'd only know when the papers came back okay? Until then, live a little!'

I sat down and fumbled with my fingers. 'I may not be divorced yet... but that was certainly his intention.'

The silence that followed was long.