.Rise And Fall.

.Rise and Fall. (18)

|Chapter: 18|

After taking a warm shower, I was dressed up in a pair of black jeans, a shirt, a sweater and above all, a big yellow loose hoodie hang on my petite size body. I ran my hands through my wet blond wavy bangs which rested just above my waist. I grabbed my school bag before I ran down the stairs.

"Hey Mom", I stood leaning on the doorframe of the kitchen with my hands inside my hoodie. The counter was a mess just like I thought. She looked up with an awkward smile on her face which means she did something wrong, wrong with the food she was making. Not really the cook she is. But dad was.

"Sweetheart I can never do this", she slumped her shoulders resting her hands on the kitchen island after dropping whatever she was making. I walked up to her and gave a side hug.

"Its alright. By the way what did you do?", I asked looking at the black pan on the stove. Okay, I already knew the answer.

"I tried to make breakfast for you and  look what I did", she gestured to the burned food and gave me her tight lipped apology smile while I passed her mine full grin. I was just happy that she was back home last night. I dropped my bag on the counter.

"Don't worry mom. I got this", I said while guiding her to a chair to make her sit. She looked stressed and I couldn't ignore the wrinkles forming on her face. It hurt to stare at her tired blue eyes.

"Just wait and watch", I said before placing myself infront of the mess she made. I cleaned up and decided to make my in famous lasagna.

"You're just like your dad. Good in everything", she smiled, before turning to me. "Oh! How's school and everything?"

School is same as always. Maybe be not so same. And by everything she meant what's going in my life lately. Well, I was assaulted, I started working in a diner, I was finally developing some sort of relationship (friendly but not exactly) with the bad boy next door and we even had a movie night which didn't quite end up well. He still didn't returned home and I'm wondering if he'll come to school today. Oh, I forgot. Sarah thinks that I have some kind of 'I like him' feelings for him which she'll clear up to me in school. But instead I ended up saying, "Just the same."

After we finished eating breakfast, I headed out. I couldn't say anything to her because I wasn't sure myself what actually was happening with me. My mom is not really a fan of Nickel. She would scream the crap out of me if she know I went out to help him. She'd tell me to stay away from him like she always did and warn me about it. So it was better this way. However I'll tell her about my part time job when we have good chit chat time. The rest of my ride was occupied by him.

The school hallway was crowded as always. Some made way to their first classes dragging their feet lazily since it was monday. While others just stood talking mostly about their weekends. I smiled when I saw the person leaning next to my locker like always with the electronic device on his hands. Typing and smiling. I cleared my throat as I opened my locker, "Who is the lucky girl making Salvor Adams happy early in the morning and that too on Monday?"

He laughed putting his phone inside in pocket. "Do I just smell some jealously here?", he asked looking at me with his head slightly titled. He kinda look cute. l just rolled my eyes at him and went back digging my needed stuffs for the first class. "To let you know that I'm still single and not taken so that you can be at your ease, I was just texting my evil twin."

"Oh Sarah? Where is she?", I asked immediately. He looked at me suspiciously. "C'mon I miss her", I said rolling my eyes again at him.

"She's up for her first class and told you to meet her in lunchtime", he said before pulling me with him to our class. We walked together with his arm draped on my shoulders. He went on rambling about his grandfather's funeral and I was rather looking for a particular person around the halls. The group forming near his locker with 'him' leaning on it, was empty now. 'Him' eyeing me from top to bottom while I pass his locker felt like a void inside me, without it.

Somehow I tried to pull myself out of his thoughts and concentrate in my classes. The keyword is 'tried' but I 'failed'. Yes, I couldn't just get him out of my head. I was frustrated for not able to describe these feelings I felt towards him like hate and.... And what? Nothing.

I hated him all my life till date. I hated him when he didn't return my smile. I hated him when he burned the chemistry answer sheets (where I didn't do well and was crying about it in 6th grade) and then the teacher held retest for the whole class. I hated him when he kicked our foods when I was on my first date with a guy named Troy. And then he never ate lunch with me. I hated him when during the school play in 8th grade where I played the role of Juliet (my dream role) he pulled the fire alarm and spoiled it.

And the list goes on and on. Despite after doing all these to me, he didn't talk with me once or even a simple apology word 'sorry'. And most importantly I hate his guts towards the school teachers and authorities. I hate everything about that guy. Then how come Sarah assume I like him. I scoffed at the thought of liking him.

I hate him.

"Are you alright?", Salvor asked. I nodded my head with a smile before returning back to concentrate on the lecture or rather on someone and listing the things I hate about him.

Thankfully, Sarah and I had lunch together without Salvor. Unlike Sarah, he hated Nickel with passion. He won't even let me stand near the bad boy let alone talk. Well, talking was never a problem since we didn't. But if he comes to know about all the events I've been going through last week he'll be furious. I told Sarah everything. How he dragged me out of the diner and how we ended up watching movie together and then what went down the hills. I cringed my nose everytime she squealed with happiness jumping up and down on her seat.

"I always knew you guys would make the cutest couple. I totally ship it", she beamed her happiest smile. I almost choked on my drink. I gulped it down before giving her thats impossible look. Before I could deny it she beat me to it.

"Don't try to deny it. Okay, lets get serious here", she looked straight in my eyes before she continued, "I've seen the way you look at him. The way you defend him and you don't even know it. You're just angry at him because you guys live next doors but he still don't talk to you. You ran out to help him risking your life and what could that possibly mean? You like him Ser or maybe you feel something more than that. Maybe you don't want to accept it. And maybe you're a little bit scared of what people say about the bad boy and at the same time you don't want to believe them."

"Not a little bit, I'm scared. That's it Sarah. I'm scared", I deadpanned. I stood up, ready to rush out because everything she said made sense and leaded to only one thing, 'I like him' and I hated it. The void feelings I get whenever I don't see him. The burning feelings I get whenever I see him with someone else. The pain I felt under my ribs every time he screamed.

But being the best friend and knowing me the best she stopped me before I could run away like I always did with my problems and pulled me. "Scared of what?", she asked slowly.

"Scared because he look dark and mysterious. Scared to know the ugly truth that will come with him. Scared to fall for....I don't know.. I hate these feelings. I feel so confused when it comes to him. Sometimes I think it just six months I can just ignore him and I'll be out of here. But then I cannot stop thinking about him. I don't need all these. Its frustrating", I blurted out pulling my hairs.

She pulled me into a hug. I took deep breathes to calm down. I hate him for making me feel this way. I hate him because I like him. I've always liked him. Him out of all the people. Thanks to my best friend for making me realise that. But how, or when did this happen?

I like him as much as I hate him.

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