I think of my life as a ticking time bomb
One day it will just explode the room
One day I will be no more
And it just might be before I get my own car
I think of the times that I slit my wrists
And I'm just think of how badly wanted to hit
Myself
And the times I wanted to kill myself
When people ask are you fight?
Or flight?
But why can't you do both at the same time
But then again if I did I would still rhyme
The rhymes would be the air I breathe
The scratching my head when I do it would tell people to leave
Some say their brain is like a Steele trap
But mines like a angry little cat
I want to claw and bite and scratch
But at the same time I'm so attached
Attached to the people I love
Attached to my religion my god that is up above
People say they don't believe
They think they need to see to believe
But that's not the point of believing
It's not the point of living
Believing is putting your trust in something
When you don't even trust your own flesh and blood
When you give yourself to some to examine your brain like their looking under the hood
Of an old best up car and they are shaking their head
Wondering how it got this bad
The engine is shot
But it's the only good thing they got
I see a dog locked in a cage
Filled with loneliness and rage
It's like my depression
I try not to listen
As I brush my teeth
Hoping to brush till its clean
But in my head I still scream
I close my mind so I can sleep but still I cannot dream
Anxiety knocks on my door
Like wavws coming in against the shore
I stay up for hours
Trying to sleep away my sarrows
I turn on music
I blare it
Hoping that will take care of it
It doesn't
It can't
It won't
They ask me what can they do
They can go
But then I will think about them when they go
And I will be a broken watch
Hoping for the one day when the battery will die and it will stop
