Her Moonchild

14

"Namjoon, I swear if you don't pass that bowl of popcorn in instant, I'm going to sit between you and your girlfriend," Jin hyung scowled and I grunted in response. Kaizan was chuckling beside me, my right arm hanging on her shoulder as we sit on the couch watching some English movie which I don't even remember the title.

"Come sit here oppa, I don't mind," I heard Kaizan teased and I turn into her, my face flushed red in annoyance, the rest of the boys laughing at my reaction. The moment she saw my face, she burst out laughing and I handed the bowl of popcorn to Jin hyung.

"There, grab the fucking popcorn and leave my girlfriend alone," I told him off and he looked at me amused.

"As far as I can remember Namjoon, I am her biased," I rolled my eyes at him. I know they were just teasing me but I can't help but get annoyed.

We'll be leaving in two days. And as much as I would like to deny it, it seemed like I am the one getting affected more instead of her. I wonder how she's able to handle that fact cooly than I am?

"Yeah, but I am the boyfriend so back off," I told him and everybody laughed.

"Wow Namjoon oppa, you're getting too clingy. I won't be surprised if Kaizan breaks up with you," Jennie laughed and I had to stop myself from flipping over the girl.

"Shut it Kim Jennie. Go talk with Taehyung instead," I bantered and I laughed the moment her cheeks flushed red while Taehyung started coughing. If I didn't know better, the two were so happy to be sitting beside each other.

Jimin and Chaeyoung were in their room sleeping. We let them be because the two rarely get enough sleep seeing they are taking care of their baby.

"Hey, stop terrorizing your friends, you idiot," I turned to my side when I felt Kaizan wrapped her arms around my waist and a smile immediately came out of my face when she did.

She really looks so adorable.

It's funny how she can easily make me calm down. Yesterday, I was a little stressed after seeing all the mess in the media due to Jimin and Chaeyoung's relationship. I am Bangtan's leader and moreover, I speak mostly for the team. I'm just so thankful that I also have the boys with me and Yoongi hyung being good with expressing the right words helps me lift up the burden on my shoulders.

People think it's easy.

It's not.

I get tired and get scared too.

Once we go back to Korea, we'll have to face the press and our fans,

What if I say something wrong?

What if my words end up hurting a lot more people?

We're not perfect, nobody is. But most of all, I'm scared that my actions, my words, my sudden decisions will harm the team in any way.

I'm afraid of criticism, or everything.

As much as possible, I don't want the others to be affected and hurt by everything.

Sadly, Kaizan saw me at my most vulnerable state but I am glad that she did.

I can still remember her words.

"It's fine to make mistakes, you didn't mean to. It's fine to say something wrong, it wasn't your intention. What's important is that you apologize once you realize what that you did wrong. But then, not because you can apologize for it, means it's okay to do it again. You have to learn from it. Nobody is perfect, Namjoon. You're human. You get hurt too. So if the burden is too much, ask for help. There's Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. You have me, We love you and we care about you,"

I can still remember how her arms wrapped around me while I sit in the corner of my bed, my head buried in her stomach as her other hand strokes my hair gently.

I was crying. I wasn't the emotional one but I was hurting too.

But she made me feel at ease.

"Namjoon, stop daydreaming, oh God. Are you sure you can come with us back to Korea?" Jin hyung exclaimed and I grab a pillow and threw it straight to his face and we all laughed at his reaction.

I pulled Kaizan closer and gave her a peck on her forehead and smiled.

It will be hard but for now, I am happy. And I'll start with that.