Her Moonchild

16

"Yah, are you okay?" I turned to my right and saw Yoongi hyung. He was eyeing me suspiciously and I knew right there and then that he knew something was wrong.

A long sigh escaped my lips.

It has been months since we went back to Korea. Things had gotten back to normal. People are still talking about Jimin and Chaeyoung's marriage but that's technically because it has been one of the biggest scandals we have ever been. And it's not like Blackpink came from a small agency either.

It's like a huge crossover and nobody expected that they have been married even before Blackpink debuted.

What more if they found out that the two just recently had a child. I bet the whole world will go nuts.

Things had gotten hectic for everyone. We have pending schedules for our concerts and other stuff that we have been booked with but was postponed due to the recent scandal.

Now, we just had our concert in Tokyo and I got so frustrated, I nearly snapped with my members earlier.

I felt Yoongi hyung patting me on the shoulders.

"I'm fine hyung. I'm sorry I messed up the show,' I mumbled, my eyes on the floor, embarrassed of how I acted.

"You bet. You nearly trip me earlier, Namjoon! What would happen if my beautiful face will be tarnished!" Jin hyung suddenly exclaimed the smile on his face tells me he was trying to tease me into messing up earlier.

Soon, all the boys had entered the room which we normally do after every concert to hang out and talk about everything that had happened.

We were already at the hotel.

"Yah, Namjoon hyung stomped on my foot during Fire. I thought I'd fall," Taehyung was chuckling as he reaches for a snack ta the table. I scratch the back of my neck in embarrassment.

From where I was seated, I can feel the members' eyes on me so I grunted.

"We fought," I admitted and that's all they need to hear for them to understand.

"Namjoon-ah," I heard Jin hyung calling my name and I was pretty sure he was a little disappointed and I'm sure so were the others.

We always make sure we set aside our personal problems whenever we perform. Our Armys did a lot for us and the least thing we can do is give back the love we have been receiving from them.

A long sigh escaped my lips.

"I know I was wrong. I know this long-distance relationship is taking a toll on me and I need to be focus. I'm sorry," I whispered and I heard Jimin grunted.

"It's not just about that, hyung. Even I had a fair share of problems on this team. Actually, I brought a lot of problems for the group with my scandals and my marriage with Chaeyoung. This is about you. Are you okay?" he sounded worried and I had to lift my gaze towards his direction and realizes that every one of them was looking at me worriedly. And I was caught off-guard.

"Namjoon, we are disappointed not because you messed up but because you seemed to forget that we are here. You've been out of yourself lately and we are so worried about you. We are a family," Yoongi hyung stated and I lift my gaze towards the ceiling to stop myself from crying.

"We always make sure we give our best performance to our fans hyung but that doesn't mean we are willing to neglect each other's feelings. If something is bothering you, we understand. You've done so much for the team. You gave up almost everything. We won't condemn you for a mistake you didn't intentionally do," Jungkook added and that's more than enough for me lost it, tears started streaming down my face.

Kaizan and I have been having problems lately. Maybe because I have too little time to spare, she always ended up being asleep whenever I am free, Or sometimes, she was caught up with too many deadlines and we rarely have time for each other.

I know it wasn't anybody's fault but I just missed her so much, it fucking hurts.

"Hyung..." Jimin called for my name and I tried to stop myself from crying, my throat hurts a little. As much as possible, I don't cry in front of my members.

"It's okay. You can cry when you're with us," Hoseok stated and I bite my lower lip in frustration. I don't want to seem to be weak in front of them but I know if it was me, I would say the same thing to them.

So I cried. 

I cried for minutes until I finally calm down.

"She said it's not working out," I whispered and they understood.

"I can't let that happen. Whenever I see our fans, I remember her, how she used to be one of them," I stated. Is this the reason why idols normally don't date their fans?

"We can't comment about your love life because it's personal, and it's between you and Kaizan. But what I can tell you is you have to talk it out. You two figure it out before either of you hurt each other even more," Yoongi hyung added and I nodded.

The others were silent and I reached for the can of beer.

Why did our relationship ended up like this?