Her Moonchild

15

"You'll call me, right? Every day, I mean, not every day but when you're free," I told her and she laughed, an amused expression showing on her face.

"Namjoon, you're the one that's always busy and not me. I will just be here. I will be free if you are free. I'll be the one to adjust," she whispered, her hands cupping both my cheeks as we sit facing each other.

We're back at the lake dock.

It's ten at night and we decided to spend our last night together before me and the boys head back to Korea tomorrow.

My heart fluttered at her words.

How can she be this understanding?

My hands reached for hers and brought them to my lips, kissing them as I stare at her beautiful face.

"You know I love you,  right?" I told her and she smiled.

"I know. I do," she whispered,  her voice almost heartbreaking to my ears. "And you know I do the same," she added.

"I know... Always," I mumbled.

I love you...

Those words should sound sweet, like music to one's ears. But to us, it sounded like a life-line, at least to me.

She then leaned closer until her head was leaning on my chest as we watch the lake before us. It was calm and serene, opposite of how my heart is.

It was chaotic and unsettling. The fact that I only have a few hours left with her makes my heart even more restless.

"I want to stay..." I whispered and she turned her head towards me, her face tells me she didn't like what I said.

"You can't. Your life isn't about me Namjoon. I won't let you," she stated and I sigh.

"I'll miss you..." I whispered before kissing the top of her head.

"I'll miss you too," she whispered and I never thought that word can also break someone's heart.

Why is everything so complicated?

For a brief moment, the idea of being just Kim Namjoon,  a regular guy from Ilsan sounded better to me, rather than being RM, the leader of Bangtan.

But then again, no matter how I try to be delusional, I know in myself I'm just the same person. And whatever I do, whichever persona I chose, it won't save me from being away from the person I cherish right now.

I pulled her closer before kissing the top of her head.

For once, I wish I am not in Bangtan, but I also wish I am.

I'm conflicted.

I pulled her ever closer to my chest.

Wait for me...