Alice

Karen

Alice gets up and leaves as I sit and Finish my breakfast. I sigh as I think about the questions she asked, I didn’t even see when Jack left this morning.
 
Something is just not adding up lately. I trust him but every time I close my eyes now I remember him saying  “Karen can’t know,” when he spoke in his sleep during his nightmare the other night, the strange bruises he keeps coming home with, the fact that he leaves at such odd hours and he’s gone for odd amounts of time. I know his work is important and I’m thankful for all the time I have with him, but still, I know Jack.

  I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt though, perhaps the time away from home will smoothen things out with my mind. I can focus fully on work there. I’ve never been to china before so this should be a lot of fun.

  I finish with breakfast and head upstairs to finish pack, I still have a few bags that need attending too but nothing much, it actually brings me a lot of enjoyment to go through my  stuff.
 
I come up, sit down and start running through my stuff, I hadn’t gone through my closet in a while, between work and Jack and basically everything. I never realized how much I neglect my things.
 
Its been two years since I moved in with jack, when I came here barely half the closet was filled with things, now, it looks stuffed. That’s the thing with jack, he’s just so, much.

Everything in his life is abundant, whereas with me everything was always scarce, I guess without noticing it, I’ve become a lot like him.
 
  I take out some clothes and search around for shoes, that’s when my eyes land on it. An old brown, tattered suit case. I hadn’t seen this thing in so long…

  The zip glides along the edge of the suit case making that ripping sound old zippers make. I peel the top off slowly, every inch of it passing makes my heart pick up a pace.

  The contents are exposed, and I feel it again, the same sorrow I feel every time I open this suit case…Marcus’ suitcase. I pick up his old shirt, its still in one piece, I unfold it and bring it to my face. His smell is barely there anymore , Blue chateau was the name of his perfume. My heart sinks in my chest at the thought of it. Its been seventeen years since I’ve smelled him and not a day goes by where I wish I could again.

  I loved this man with every fiber of my being and the only thing I have left of him now, is my Alice. I see him in her all the time, her skin, her hair, the way she moves all of it like an echo of him. I never thought I’d feel that way again until I met Jack, this fiery, intense, wild, fierce man, Jack Carlisle, the second love of my life.

  I put Marcus’ Shirt back in his suit case and I lock it. There are more things in the case that I can’t handle looking at right now. I have to pack. Today will be wonderful and tomorrow I’ll wake up in a different country.