Foolish (James McVey)

Chapter 8

That's when it suddenly sank in. Abby wasn't just a crazed fan or anything like that. She was James' ex-girlfriend.

I stared at the two of them for too long, but I wasn't sure how I was meant to feel about this situation. Yes I was slowly developing feelings for James but I was uncertain how this made me feel. Abby acted like such a bitch to me and it's obvious James didn't want her here... I wonder what happened between them.

"El, go wait in the car." James slipped his car keys into my hand and turned around to face me.

"Why?"

"Because I said so." Great reason.

I nodded slowly before stuffing the keys in my pocket and turning to the door. James turned to face Abby and just as I left through the door I heard a few words slip from her mouth that got to me, "I can give you more than that fat ugly thing can." I decided not to stay to what James had to say. Maybe he would defend me.. but the things he has says before makes me wonder whether he'd side with her.

On my way to James' car I couldn't help but let a few tears slip down my face. I know I'm a wimp whatever, but comments like that really got to me. I wasn't the thinnest person or the largest person there was, but the way I felt about myself was not good. I have and still do constantly put myself down... but to have someone do it for you, is something completely different.

Life was pretty shit before James along, and still had been shit at a few times. But something about having James by my side on a lot of the day made me happier and brightened up my days. I try to remind myself I'm only in this for the money, but I couldn't deny the feelings I had for James. I mean who couldn't have feelings for him? He's gorgeous, multi-talented, funny, intelligent, kind, caring and a bit of a dick but... I liked him. And it sometimes killed me spending time with him when he thought I was only doing it because I had to.

I unlock the car and slide into the passenger seat. I look back over at the restaurant and notice that James hadn't arrived yet and I couldn't see the two of them through the windows so I tried to forget about it.

Those words drifted in and out of my mind as I sat there, tears falling. I lifted out a compact mirror from my bag, that I always carried around, and opened it. There sat a normal girl. Me. Make up smudged all over her face and her true self coming through. I got out a tissue and wiped off the remainder of the make up, leaving my face with no makeup on. I didn't care right now. James would take me home and I could curl up on the sofa, getting back to my secret life on twitter.

A door opened, making me jump out of my skin. I turned to see James climbing into the car. I quickly slid the mirror away and tried to compose myself.

"Hi." I pushed a smile, then turned away trying to hide my face.

"El, you don't need to try and be strong." His soft voice rang through my ears and when his warm hand came in contact with my thigh I turned my face to look at him.

"I can't help it you know. I'm already insecure as it is, and to have someone else point out your flaws for you makes it a lot different and a lot worse than doing it yourself. I just, sometimes hate myself so much sometimes. Things I have done and the way I am just makes me dislike who I am and... I don't even know what to do anymore." I sobbed out everything that I had been holding in for months. I didn't care what he said I just had to say it, to get it out of my system. Rather than taking it out on myself...

"Come here," I look up into his eyes and he's pulling me into his body. We hug as best as we can from across the car and it comforted me a lot. His hand moved up and down my back, soothing me and bringing my heavy breathing back to normal. At times like this I wish we could stay in the moment forever.