FREAKS || Jerome Valeska¹

01 || A Riddle and A Joke

Gotham City.

It was beautiful from afar. The various-colored city lights twinkled like a cluster of a billion stars - It was mesmerizing. The mere sight of the city could take your breath away, anticipation clinging to every inch of your fragile skin. Every sound vanished, leaving you floating in the calmest state of mind.

Yet, it wasn't the same when you've lived in it forever.

Yes, it was stunning, but it was nothing alike the initial impression it left. From an outsider's perspective, it was probably the definition of heaven - a large body of calm water blanketed by a mass of glowing neo-gothic architecture. It was an aesthetically pleasing scenery. But the facade disappears the moment you explore it with open eyes when you realize the kind of place it is, and then all the beauty falls short to the violence. You're sucked in by a dull, grey emptiness. Your existence is but another fraction of unimportance because you're just as disposable as your neighbor... unless you were a politician or blessed with rich parents.

Gotham hardens your heart in a snap, tires your bones, and leaves nothing but your crumbling shell - The representation of survival of the fittest. You stay long enough, and the violence kind of starts feeling like home.

The disappointing truth is that Gotham is disgusting. It's corrupt and hopeless. Crime thrives in every corner of this island, grows like mold, and becomes more potent with time. The mafia, greed, and recklessness hold this city by a leash, and the mayor did nothing. Blue bloods, politicians, law enforcers, anyone in a position of power mingled with criminals - this everyone knew. It made them untouchable. No one did anything to help because it probably benefitted them best when this city tore itself apart, or they were too scared to jeopardize their reputations. The number of injustices swept under the rug was astronomical.

We lived in a city where the power imbalances were clear as day and used against you every day. You try to be a hero, and you die. No one will bother to remember you because the mark you make, isn't a dent, it's only a washable smudge.

Insanity and madness also played a part in its destruction. Everyone is a ticking timebomb, waiting like lost souls for the moment their clocks run out. This place has the potential of deteriorating your mind, so if you want to hang with the wild crowd, you're home. To make things even better, Arkham Asylum has been closed since I could remember, meaning anyone who isn't right in the head is free. Anyone caught by the GCPD was taken to prison, which is useless because these people needed support.

In the night, crooks came out of their hideouts to attack the innocent. To cause ruckus. And by daylight, nothing will have changed except the city's depressed and dull skies. It is important to watch your back at all times. That's why nobody trusts anyone... because everyone is trying to survive, and trusting the wrong person can cost you your life.

I count myself lucky that I have someone to trust in this grim place.

Growing up, I had a highly dysfunctional relationship with my parents that left me with wounds that could easily be reopened.

I had a 'father' who will never win first place even if he wanted to try. Living with him was like living in a horror movie; every minute suspenseful, waiting for my mere existence to trigger the apocalypse. He was an abusive, alcoholic son of a bitch who acquired pride from beating my brother and me. His reasons were always idiotic and too difficult to understand. Inexcusable above everything. All he wanted at the end of the day was to hurt us, no matter how many lies he had to make up to justify those actions. To him, we were bad children who did everything wrong - Cheaters. Liars. Useless. Cowards. Never good enough. But he didn't love us.

My 'mother' didn't care enough about us to stick around for us. I don't remember anything about her, it's almost like she was a figment of my vivid imagination. My older brother had been the only one who knew her before she walked away, and I was left to live without her. I had to teach myself everything about womanhood on my own, and I had to make my own mistakes and calm my own panics.