Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed.
••
The golden haired boy laid down on his new bed, on a dorm in Stanford University, remembering the events of the night before.
"Promise me you'll wake me up!" The red haired said on that night.
"I promise! Now go to sleep, it's late." The boy told her that night. She looked at him to see him smiling at her. That smile sent a wave of reassurance to her, as if she found out they would always be together. She closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep on his chest.
The boy watched her all night. When the sun was coming up, he got out of the bed and went to the emergency staircase to write her a letter, leaving it on her nightstand, wondering what would be her reaction of waking up without him there, like he promised. He left his family ring with the letter, thinking to himself if she'd ever wear it, or if she'd throw it away, or even if she'd kept it but forgot all about it in time. Would she forget how much that rings means?
He couldn't let her drop him off on the airport. If only she asked him to stay, he would turn around without looking back and he would stay, But he had to do this. For his future. Who knew, maybe someday they would find their way back to each other. Maybe, someday, he wouldn't be just an ex-lover, an ex-almost.
So the boy who never cried, cried once again. One last time. Knowing that he would never see her again, he recalled the words of his father who taught him that to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed. Maybe, just maybe, his father wasn't completely wrong.
The red haired woke up late that day. The boy had left and he didn't wale her up, as he promised. She looked at her nightstand and saw a letter on her nightstand and, next to it, a ring. Jace's family ring. She got the ring and the letter and started reading it.
She could feel her heart break by every word she read on that letter.
Dear Clary,
Despite everything, I can't bear the thought of this ring being lost forever, any more than I can bear the thought of leaving you forever. And though I have no choice about the one, at least I can choose about the other. I've told you about this ring and how much it means to me so I'm trusting you to keep it with you.
All night I've watched you sleeping, watched the moonlight come and go, casting its shadows across your face in black and white. I've never seen anything more beautiful.
I'm writing this watching the sun come up. You're asleep, dreams moving behind your restless eyelids. I wish I knew what you were thinking. I wish I could slip into your head and see the world the way you do. I wish I could see myself the way you do. But maybe I don't want to see that. Because I can't look at you without feeling guilty of everything I've done to you and, if I knew how you really felt about it, I couldn't live with myself.
I'm sorry for everything. For all the pain and the jealousy. But you've unlocked something in me. Since I was 10, I was taught by my father not to love. Anyone. Ever. But you made me see that loving someone was actually beautiful and it wasn't something bad.
I know you don't believe that people fall in love in high school, but I did and I don't regret any of it. My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can't have and wanting what you shouldn't want. And I shouldn't want you.
I need to go to college and so do you. Both of us, we need to follow our different paths and our dreams and that starts tomorrow. Even if you are my dream, Clary, I can't have you. So I lied to you last night. I said that I just wanted one night with you before leaving. But I want every night with you. And that's why I have to slip out of your window now, like a coward. Because if I had to tell you this to your face, I couldn't make myself go. If I looked into your eyes and said this, I would want to stay. And if only you'd ask me to stay, I would. I would do anything for you, to make you happy, burn down the whole world just to see a smile on your face.
And, even if I'm leaving today, I will always be with you and that ring is my promise of that.
I don't blame you if you hate me, I wish you would. As long as I can still dream, I will dream of you.
- Jace
The girl cried all day and all night. She didn't leave her room that day. All she could think of was the golden haired boy who she wanted to hate, but couldn't.
The next day didn't come out easy for neither of them. Jace's roommate had arrived and Izzy was trying to get Clary out of the bed.
"You can't be like that because of a boy. But did you two even date? I don't get it." She says.
"No, Izzy, we didn't date. Technically, he wasn't an ex-boyfriend. But he was an ex-something, an ex-maybe. An ex-almost." Clary tells her best friend.
They went out to eat ice cream, like old times. But this wasn't exactly like old times because summer was ending and they had to go back to reality soon. But, whatever happened after that, Clary promised herself to always keep that ring and that letter.
••
BEFORE YOU HATE ME, THERE WILL BE A BOOK 2! I just updated it so check it, it's called Almost 2. I cried writing this ending and I promise this second book will have a happy ending... maybe. You'll have to read it to see! Anyway, I hope you liked this story and that you read the second book. Thank you for everyone who read it! Please tell me your opinion! ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Almost
Fanfiction"No, we didn't date. Technically, he wasn't an ex-boyfriend. But he was an ex-something, an ex-maybe. An ex-almost."
