Welcome to Arkadia {3}

Chapter 4

We all made our way to the rovers in silence. A couple guards got the dead guards out of the seats. They carried the dead to the back and laid them down. 

I went to the rover we came in. I got in the back. I sat near the front seats and just stared ahead of me blankly. 

I heard the door open and shut but didn't bother looking. The person sat beside me. They put their arm around my shoulders. By the feel of it, I could tell it was Octavia. 

"Remember ,Rach, he's hurting too." Was all she said. 

I looked over at her, tears still falling down my face. "I shouldn't have left her." I whispered. 

"Then you'd be dead too." Octavia pointed out.

"But I'd still be with her." I whispered. 

"Rachel, look at me. You can't blame yourself for this. You were trying to protect your family by going to the summit. None of us thought something like this would happen." Octavia told me. 

"I know. It just hurts." I sobbed. She pulled me into a hug. I buried my face into the crook of her neck and sobbed. "I don't want it to hurt anymore. I just want to be okay." I sobbed. 

"You will be. Someday." She assured me. "You just have to fight for it. You have to fight a bit longer until then." 

"I don't know how much fight I have left." I pulled back to look her in the face. "I'm not like you and Bellamy. You guys seem like you were made for this. You do everything so easily ,you guys fight for what you believe is right so easily. I can't. I'm not as strong as you guys." I told her. 

"You are. You've been fighting this entire time. You survived so much. You survived when we first landed while you were pregnant. You survived Mount Weather while being very pregnant. And you're still surviving." Octavia told me. 

"Living should be about more than just surviving." I whispered. 

"Well, just survive for now and we'll be able to live later ,okay?" She asked ,cupping my face with her hands. I nodded. 

"Okay." I whispered. 

The door opened again. Bellamy stood at the door looking so defeated. Octavia let go of my face and moved down the bench so Bellamy could sit beside me. He moved and sat between Octavia and I. He pulled us both into a hug. I hugged him tightly back. 

Octavia pulled out of his grasp. "I'm going to go check in with Kane. See what's going on?" She stated before leaving.

Bellamy and I stayed quiet. We didn't say anything ,didn't even moved. He just held me to him tightly. I held onto him just as tightly. I buried my face in his chest to hide the fact that I was crying again, although I think he still noticed. He turned his head and placed a kiss on the top of my head. 

"I'm sorry." He whispered. I sniffled and pulled back to look at him. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"It was my job to look after both of you, to protect both of you. I can't even do that." He said. I saw that he was crying too. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, stopping a tear that was falling down. 

"Like Octavia told me, none of us thought something like this would happen." I told him. 

"I shouldn't have trusted Echo." He mumbled. I grabbed his face with both hands. 

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over this." I told him. I knew he still would. "J-just hold me ,p-please." I said. 

He pulled me so I was straddling his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist ,holding onto me tightly ,like he was afraid I would disappear if he let go. I buried my face into the crook of his neck.

Eventually other people started getting in the rover. Bellamy moved over to where I was sitting. The ride back was quiet. Painfully quiet. 

I couldn't see it ,but I could feel the looks we were getting. Everyone who knew who Sam and Lia were to Bellamy and I felt bad for us. 

I knew Bellamy felt bad that Sam was gone too. They definitely didn't get along at first but they seemed to get along more over the time I was in Mount Weather. 

Bellamy was much more upset that Lia was there. I understood his pain, I was feeling it too. We lost our daughter. It is the worst pain that I've ever felt. I can't stand the pain that I'm feeling from this. It makes me question if it's even worth caring about people. Why have people you love if you can lose them at any moment?

I felt the rover come to a stop. I knew we were at the gate. I could hear it opening. We drove forward more and finally pulled to a stop again. This time the rover was shut off. 

Bellamy got up ,having to lean over since the area wasn't very tall. I was being leaned backwards since Bellamy had to lean forward. He lowered himself to sit on the edge of the rover before jumping off. He moved one arm from my waist to put it under my thighs to hold me up. 

I heard footsteps coming over to us. "How is she?" I heard my dad ask. 

"How do you think? She just found out her daughter is dead." Bellamy snapped. I tightened my hold on him ,trying to get him to calm down. He turned his head. "I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear. I lightly kissed his neck in response. 

He took one step forward before stopping suddenly. I felt him stiffen. I pulled away to look at his face. He was looking behind me with a shocked expression. I turned my body as much as I could to look behind me. 

I gasped as I saw Sam stood by the door. He hair was ruffled. His were eyes red and puffy.

I unwrapped my legs from around Bellamy's waist. He set my feet on the ground before letting go of me. I turned to face Sam completely. I ran over to him ,hugging him tightly. I started sobbing into his neck. I pulled back to look at him. 

"How?" I cried.

"I just ,uh... I couldn't be there anymore. Not there. I left early. I told someone to let you know when you got back that I left." He told me. "And since I was looking after Lia, I brought her with me. After what Raven said, I'm glad I did." 

My eyes widened. "Lia's alive?" I questioned. Sam nodded his head with a smile. I turned to Bellamy who was still by the rover. He was talking to Octavia. "Bell, Tavi!" I called to them. They looked over at me in confusion. I looked back at Sam. "I want to see my daughter." I stated.

His smile widened. "I figured you would." He told me. He turned and started down the hall. I followed him. Frustrated with how slow he was walking, I pushed him forward a bit faster. "Okay, speedy." He started to jog down the hall. I followed him. I heard running footsteps behind me. 

Sam led me to his room. He opened the door and pointed to the makeshift crib he had for her in his room for when he decides to give Bellamy and I a night off. 

I ran in quickly. I made it to the crib and seen my daughter laying inside. She was playing with a stuffed animal that I had got from Mount Weather. I knew that it used to belong to a kid that is now dead but pretty much everything we have is from dead people. 

I pulled Lia out of the crib. I held her to me tightly ,but not too tight so I didn't hurt her. I heard two more people step into the room. I looked over to see Octavia and Bellamy wearing matching shocked expressions. I smiled over at them with tears in my eyes ,this time they were tears of joy. 

Bellamy came over to us and pulled us to him. He had tears rolling down his cheek too. He pressed a kiss to the top of Dahlia's head. Then he looked over at me with a big smile. 

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips. I kissed him back softly. It was a short but sweet kiss. 

"I love you both so much." He told me. 

"We love you too." I told him. 

Lia reached up and grabbed Bellamy's face. She had grabbed a hold of the skin on his cheek. She giggled as she looked up at him. I smiled at this action ,so did Bellamy. 

He took her from my arms and held onto her. He pressed kisses all over her face as she giggled more. 

I just watched on with a smile. I'm so glad my family is okay.