Shatter Me

Colin's P. O. V.

The cold chill of winter air seeped through my layers of jackets and I sniffed. Just another day in New York City. I glanced around before crossing the street, hoping somebody might notice me, knowing that nobody will. Someone slammed their fist into a car horn farther down the street, probably shouting at some unfortunate pedestrian. I shivered and stuffed my frozen hands into my pockets.

There was something about New York City that reminded me of him. Maybe it's that the people are always busy, always working. Maybe it's the coffee shops, where forbidden lovers are always stealing kisses, or the street-side vendors, always laughing and talking. I'm not sure. But I like it here, despite the cold. I see him in everything. My life is a bittersweet one, but it's my life all the same.

I've been alive for a very long 923 years. Now, I know what you're thinking. How can that be possible, blah blah blah. Well, I'm a sorcerer, or, was a sorcerer anyway. And I suppose we have very extended lives. My magic has long since gone dormant, but I know it will be back someday, when I need it the most. It's annoyingly reliable that way.

I pause at a crosswalk, and then cross the street again. The restaurant I work at isn't that far now, just a few more blocks. I almost dread going there. Every day, it's always the same. People yelling in your ears. 'Colin, do this! Colin do that!' You'd think I'd be used to it by now. After all, I was Arthur's manservant for five years. But one never gets used to being bossed around, I suppose.

Ah, Arthur. Just thinking about him, I feel a great wave of sorrow blanket my heart, spreading a different kind of cold through my bones. It's been nine hundred years since his death, and yet it feels as if it happened yesterday. The raw pain I felt then is just as raw now.

The Great Dragon lied to me. He told me when Albion's need was greatest, Arthur would rise again. Albion is long gone, long forgotten, it's memory nothing but a myth, a bedtime story for children who are too rowdy for sleep. I am all that's left, and people don't even know it.

In the stories, Merlin is Arthur's sidekick, helping when asked. Arthur is the real hero. I'm glad this is how it was passed down. I don't want to be remembered as the hero, the one who saved Arthur countless times. I don't want to be remembered as important. In fact, I don't even want to be remembered. I'm okay with being Colin. It's easier that way.

I stop in front of a dark burgundy door, mixed smells of herbs and cooking food wafting to my nose. I've arrived. I step into the bustling restaurant, nearly taken out by waiters three times before entering the kitchen. I don my apron just as the Chef spots me.

"Colin!" he barks. I glance at him uneasily.

"Yes, Chef," I mutter.

"Do you know what time it is?" I shake my head no, but of course I know what time it is. I always know what time it is. One of the many curses of being immortal, is that you're always painfully aware of the passing time. "It's 9:08! You were supposed to be here eight minutes ago! Here I am, making all this food for all these people, and I turn around to tell you to go get me some more rosemary, and you're not there! What am I supposed to do with you, Colin. This is the third time this week," Chef berates. He's wrong of course. This is the fourth time, but I don't tell him that.

"I'm sorry, Chef," I say. "It won't happen again." That's what I always say, and I know what's coming next. We have this conversation nearly every other day and it's always the same.

"See to it that it doesn't. You're my most valuable employee, otherwise I would've fired you weeks ago," he says. I nod.

"Thank you, Chef," I reply. He waves me off.

"Go do your job, boy," he orders, and the conversation is over. I finish pulling on my apron and fasten my name tag to my shirt.

"Yo Colin!" someone shouts. I can't help but grin as my best (and only) friend jogs up to me. "Late again, I see," she raises her eyebrows.

"So it seems," I say.

"Well, you better get to it. Chef will have your head if those tacos aren't ready in five. But we're still on for tonight, right?" she asks. I have to squint to avoid rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah whatever, Katie. I'll see you at seven," I promise and turn toward a glossy white counter dusted with flour.

Katie has this wild idea that I'm too closed off from the world, so she suggested I find a roommate to share my place with. I foolishly agreed, partly because of the four shots of tequila in my system and partly because I was afraid she might be right. Now I'm beginning to regret it. She's coming over tonight to help me clean up the house and type up some ads to go in the newspaper.

I shovel some beans and rice into a tortilla and slide it over to Dan, a fellow employee, so he can finish it off with the lettuce and ground beef. I work for an hour or so making food for customers, until Katie comes up to me again.

"Hey Col, your turn for waiting duty," she says. I groan. I hate waiting on people. They're so inconsiderate sometimes. But I shrug off my apron anyway and peel of my plastic gloves.

"How do I look?" I ask Katie sheepishly. She turns her head to one side in an inquisitive manner. Then she licks her fingers and smooths out a few wild tufts of my raven hair.

"There. That's better," she says and smiles, before stepping around me to take over what I had been doing. I sigh before pushing through the doors and out into the restaurant. I haven't walked but three steps before they enter. Two men, one with brown hair and brown, wild looking eyes, the other with blonde hair and those two, unmistakable blue eyes. I drop the pad of paper and pen that I was holding, eyes wide. The two notice me staring and frown.

"Hey, you okay bro?" the one with brown hair asks. I don't even look at him. My eyes are locked on the other one. I struggle to breathe.

"A-Arthur?" the name escapes my lips before I have a chance to stop it, and my world crumbles.

<<Author's Note: this is the first merthur fanfiction I've ever written so please comment and tell me how I'm doing! I'm really excited about this :) >>