The Babysitter

Bouquet

Samantha

My mom wakes me. She says I've been asleep for over 12 hours. I don't even know what day it is. I guess it's Tuesday.

I haven't been to school for almost two weeks and I don't think I will ever go back. Or I wish I didn't have to ever go back. I know I will eventually have to and the thought is paralyzing.

Then I see Charlie standing in the doorway. I hadn't seen her behind my mother and she had been extra careful not to make a sound.

"I'll leave you to it," my mom says and leaves.

I sit up and pull my knees to my chest. I don't want to look at her. I can't. I can't think about what she is about to say and I don't know if it's to torture me or not but she drags the silence on forever.

"Say it already," I say.

"What?" Charlie says.

"Whatever it is you came to say," I say. 

Charlie sits on the edge of my bed and takes a deep breath.

"You haven't been in school for almost 14 days," she says, "are you okay?"

"Did you really come here to talk about my attendance?" I say, "I'm fine. Thanks."

"I spoke to Principle Sutton and counselor Moore about you," she says.

"Why?" I say, "what did you say?"

"I told them that you were dealing with some family problems," she says. "I got your mom to sign a letter and I took it to them."

She reaches into her backpack and removes a binder full of papers.

"They've allowed me to collect your homework and bring it to you so you don't fall too far behind," she says.

"Why are you doing this?" I say.

"Because that's what friends do," she says, "They get each other's backs."

I don't know what to say and I nearly start crying.

"Charlie-" I say.

"Samantha, will you please just tell me the truth?" She says.

"About what?" I say.

"You know what," she says, "is it true?"

I can't look at her. I can't. And I feel the tears on my cheeks now.

"Yes," I say.

"You're sure?" She says, "100 percent sure?"

"Yes," I say. I look at her for the first time and see I'm not the only one crying. Charlie's eyes are red and dripping.

"Wow," she says with a laugh that's filled with shock and doubt. "Wow."

"Charlie, I'm so sorry," I say, "I never meant for this to happen. It was an accident, we were drunk."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" She says.

"No. But it's the truth," I say.

"How could you do this?" She says and I don't know how to answer, so I don't. "As my best friend, please do something for me."

"Anything," I say and I wish it was all over. I wish I hadn't done any of it. I wish everything was how it used to be.

"Don't ever speak to me again," she says, "I don't want you to look at me. I don't want to be your friend," she says and walks to the door.

"Charlie, please don't do this. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you," I say.

"It's too late for that," she says and leaves.

After she's gone, I sit on my bed and cry. I don't know what else to do. I can't do anything else. I cry so hard for so long my eyes finally dry up and won't cry anymore.

I crawl back under the covers and fall asleep again.

Later that night my mom came back to my room and woke me up again.

"What?" I say into my pillow.

"There is a boy here to see you," she says.

"What boy?" I say.

"He said his name is Mitch," she says, "he's waiting at the front door. Why don't you come see him?"

"I don't want to see anyone mom. Please tell him to go away," I say.

"Are you sure?" she says.

"Yes. Please." I say without moving.

"Okay," she says. I hear walk back to the front door. I hear her muffled voice and then the door quietly shut.

For the next several days at 6:30 pm, Mitch kept coming back and I would keep telling my mother to send him away. I don't know why he keeps showing up and I don't want to know. I wish he would take the hint.

Finally, on the 5th day, I climbed out of bed, put on a hoodie and walked to the front door.

I open it and Mitch is standing there with a bouquet of roses.

He hands them to me.

"What are you doing Mitch?" I say.

"Hey Sam, can we talk?"

"About what?" I say.

"Maybe we can go somewhere private for a minute?" He says. "It won't' take long."

"If I say yes, will you stop bothering me?" I say.

"Yes," he says.

"Fine," I say. I put on some shoes and walk out to his car.

We drive to Wright Park and go for a walk.

"How are you?" He says.

"How am I?" I say, "I'm fine. Are you here for small talk? What do you want?" I say.

"I wanna talk about everything," he says.

"There's nothing to talk about," I say, "I'm going to take care of it."

"Well don't you think I should have say in that? After all, it's my baby too," He says.

"It's my body Mitch," I say.

"I understand that, and I'm not trying to tell you what choice to make," he says, "but I feel like I should at least voice my opinion on the matter."

"Really?" I say. "It's not your body that's in pain, it's not your body that is going to get destroyed, it's not your life that is going to change."

"That's not true," he says, "my life will change if you let me be apart of this."

Don't cry. Don't cry. I repeat it over and over in my mind.

"I know you're scared Sam," he says, "I'm scared too. I've never been more frightened in my entire life, but everything in life happens for a reason. It's not up to us to understand why. If you want to go to the clinic then I will be there for you.  I will take you there myself, I will be with you every step of the way."

I can't fight it any longer and I break down. Mitch wraps me in his arms and holds me as cry into his chest.

"You are not alone," he says, "but if you want to keep him if you want to keep this baby, I will be there too. No matter what, I will be with you, Sam. I'm not going anywhere."

He holds me as cry and for the first time since everything happened, I don't feel completely alone. I don't know if I can ever tell him the truth now.

TO BE CONTINUED...