Letting Go

Happenings

Funny how fast things happen, right? After a couple months of being star struck, in love, lost teenagers on the verge giving up on everything, we became so much more than our dreams. We grew to be more than what we expected to ever be.

I was young and naïve while you were mature and experienced. Beautiful how we levelled each other out.

Everything seemed to be in control, yet out of control too. The beautiful imperfections of life had turned minor and invisible compared to your beauty. Gazing at what we had put a beat back into my hollow self. I was so blinded by what you let me see, I never noticed what was happening. I never saw the disastrous toll and plunge that you were experiencing. I know now that I was silly and lost; you were grown and knew how to handle it- or so you let me believe. Ha. How stupid was I?

It happened so fast.

A few months in and you became distant. You became engulfed in what you had convinced yourself of. I, still lost and naïve, didn't see your struggle. If only you had said something. If only I had asked. Depression is no easy battle; as you said before:

"No one wins their battle with depression love, it simply gets easier, and then attacks all at once. It doesn't end, unless you do."

How could I not see what you meant? Yet, I still sat in the moments of the honeymoon stage; only viewing what had started us, not what would end us.