Letting Go

And So It Started

It was a beautiful day. Breathtaking beauty made me forget about the trash heaps on the street, the accident that happened at the intersection, and the people that ran about the city. The sun hung low, showing thin rays of light, but still too much. The clouds took form of a fog and rain began to fall ever so slightly on too the pavement. Days like that made me feel like sitting I'm the road, legs folded, eyes closed, and you right next to me.

Days like this made me want to call you and ask you to hang out in the park like we always did. So I could hold your hand as try to pull away, but still giggle and give up. So we could stare at the world that is taken for granted everyday by everyone. So you could smile as the dogs retreated to you and the owner would have to come and take the mutt away. I never understood why they always went to you.

And so I called you for the first time that day. I pushed your name and put the phone to my frozen ear. It rang: once. Twice. Three times. Four.

I pulled the phone away and replaced my smile with a smirk. I tried again. It rang: once. Twice. Three times. Four. Five. Six. Letting your voice mail pick up the call instead.

I replaced my smirk with a twitch at the corner of my mouth, only leading me to call you again. So, it rang: once. Twice. Three times. I dropped to the floor. Five. Six and my eyes began water. You always answered by the second ring of the first call. Was I overreacting? I had to be.

I wiped away the tears a chuckled at what a mess I was over you not answering your phone. I decided to walk over to the café, and wait for you there. Then, you could tell me how you dropped your phone in the toilet again, so you turned it off. Or how you over slept and left your phone at home.

I slipped some pants on and wore the same sweater I had worn to bed that night. My hair was wadded up in a bun and placed nearly on the top of my head. I slipped on some sneakers and stepped out the door to lock up the shabby apartment.

I wondered to the street and went to the corner where our café was. Returning to the corner where our initials were carved, so I could sit and wait.