Pool
I don't know what to feel. I feel like I'm seeing a ghost. My right hand is shaking, and anytime I fall to the ground. Nanghihina ako. They both looked at me, but Gabb gave me a questioning look.
"What is he doing here? Why are you with him? "Tinanong ko si Gabb nang napapaos. Gulat na gulat pa rin si Gabb na parang hindi niya alam kung anong ikikilos niya.
"Dear, he's my biological son. I did not know you knew each other. I just bumped into him. Well, I am planning to get in touch with him privately," Papa Ben said.
"He found me last October and warned me not to come here because many people are still chasing and blaming me for what happened years ago," he continued.
"Gabb, you saw the picture that I was with Papa Ben. So, you knew? Ang sabi mo galit ka sa isang tao na piniling alagaan ang ibang tao kaysa sa inyo. Planado mo pa ito? Kunin ang loob ko, paibigan at saktan ako." Nanginginig na ang boses.
Tumayo siya para maglevel kami. "No, please don't think about that. My intention is pure. I just recently found out. Believe me. I don't know how to tell my mother. She likes to meet you."
"Ang sabi mo galit ang mama sa taong kinasama at inalagaan ng taong nag-iwan sa inyo." Naiiyak na ako. Tinuro ko si Papa Ben, "You! You left us! You have no idea how devastated I was and my mom. How could you leave like that, like nothing happened? I have loved you more than my real dad."
"Liv, calm down." Pinapakalma ako ni Papa Ben tuluyan na siyang lumapit sa akin.
"Is this your plan, Gabb? Ipamukha sa akin na nagtagumpay ka? My mom was good to you and my friends. I should have seen the signs. Those moments or encounters with Sianna, ang daming babae ditto sa Villa Guarda sana inisip ko man lang bakit ako ang nilapitan mo." Napakatanga ko naman.
Umaapoy ako sa galit, pero nanniti akong kalmado. Hindi ako iiyak sa harap nila. Hinawakan ni Gabb ang braso ko at bigla akong umatras.
"Liv, mali ang iniisip. Let me tell you everything. Let me explain, please. Hini kita kayang lokohin. It's true that I just bumped into him today. I have no idea that he's here. I saw him last October, but we have no communication." Paliwanag ni Gabb.
I left the coffee shop. They tried to follow me, but there was a tricycle waiting outside, and I hopped in. My mother is still in the hospital, and Ate Letty went to their farm. I went to my room and cried. I went to my closet and threw my things. He tricked me. He fooled me. I am so stupid for believing him. I have months to leave this place. After my graduation, I will leave this town right away.
I ate my dinner alone. Wala pa si Mama baka overtime niya. I wonder if may idea ba siya na nandito si Papa Ben. I received a lot of calls and texts from Gabb, and I decided to turn off my phone.
Gabb always waits for me after school. But I'm not ready to talk to him. Mau is wondering why I didn't join the group every time they got together. Deo is also bothering me. Gabb would not turn up if I wasn't there. We're preparing for our commencement exercises, and I've started packing some of my belongings. My parents told me I could study in Manila if I wanted; I told them I'd go to San Carlos.
The weekend came, and I was so bored. I went to the hospital and stayed in my mom's office. I tried to check her charts, but napagalitan ako. Naging tambayan ko ang office niya habang inaaral ko kung paano mag edit ng videos.
Ako:
Mau, puta ako sa inyo. Gusto ko ng hot chocolate at cookies.
Mau:
Papasundo kita tapos nuod tayo ng movie.
I will miss the bubbly attitude of my best friend. She will study in Davao. Rojan is in Iloilo. I will miss my friends. I have been so sad these past few weeks. Mau and I had dinner, and that dinner was pancit canton and eggs.
Three weeks from now, it will be my graduation.
I have been ignoring Gabb, and I have been so cold. One time Deo went to our house and brought cake ingredients because it's his birthday this weekend. He wanted me to bake his birthday cake, especially the chocolate moist cake that his mom really liked. He was prying on what happened between me and Gabb.
Last week, Gabb went to my school at Pinaunlakan Ko Na. We had lunch at a small coffee shop. He's right; he owes me an explanation. I am still mad, and I am not sure if I am ready to listen to him. Papa Ben is his biological father, and never did I imagine that events would turn out like this.
I know the whole story, but he mentioned to me before that he's looking for someone. Totoong tatay niya pala ang hinahanap niya.
"I found him last semester break. I did not tell my mom or my dad. I still need to find the reason why he exiled this town. I have to find out why he came back," Gabb explained.
"I heard Tita Chat before; it's about money. He received threats from his colleagues. That's all I know."
Kumunot ang nuo niya. "Believe me, it was not my intention to hurt you. It happened that Mr. Jalandoni was my biological father. Liv, I apologize for not telling you. Honestly, I didn't know what to tell you when I found that your Papa Ben and Mr. Jalandoni are the same person."
"You could have at least tried to tell me. I don't really appreciate that you keep everything to yourself. I get it that you did not lie. Withholding the truth is no different from lying, Gabb."
"Liv, this is hard for me too. I know that deep inside you are not ready to know everything. Please inform your mom first. She has nothing but been so good to me and to your friends."
I want to know everything that happened to Papa Ben, but hindi ko alam kung handa na ako. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na ang kinalikihan niya ama ay hindi niya pala totoong ama. He's very secretive, and I don't enjoy the secrecy in this relationship. I want to hug him because I know it's been so hard for him to carry this alone. Pakiramdam ko buong pagkatao may kulang at ngayon nahanap niya na.
"Sasabihin ko rin naman kay Mama."
"Kung hindi mo kaya magsabi ka lang dahil ako mismo pupunta sa bahay niyo at kakausapin siya. She needs to know this."
Tiningnan ko siya ng masama. My goodness, I really like him. His dark eyes, broad shoulders, and dreamy aura. Ano ba itong iniisip basta agalit pa rin ako. Tumayo ako ang kinuha ang aking bag.
"Don't worry, sasabihin ko rin naman to kay Mama," bigla akong umalis at nilisan ang coffee shop na kinakabahan at naguguluhan.
Weekend came, and it's Deo's birthday. Dala ko na ang cakes at cupcakes. It's a barbecue and pool party. Nasabihan ko na siya na parating na ako nung nakita ko na bukas naman ang gate, and medyo maingay sa look pumasok na ako na dala ang cake at babalikan ko ang iba. Dumiretso ako sa pool may naliligo na mga kaklase niya siguro or mga pinsan. Nakita ako Deo, binati ko siya at biglang lumapit si Mau. I heard Rojan's mom sent some fruits and pika pika. May dalawang babaeng pumasok, yung isa pinsan ni Deo tapos ang kasama niya yung iniissue ni Mau na gusto ni Rojan. May dala siya 4 na kahon ng mamahaling donut tapos binati si Deo na tinawag pang kuya.
Tinusok-tusok ni Mau ang tagiliran ko kasi pumasok sila na may dalang beer and sodas in can. Sinabihan niya akong magbihis na kasi naka one piece na siya.
I submerged my body in the pool and saw Deo's mom entering the pool area. She's refilling the food on the table. I was too focused on observing her. Umahon ako at umupo sa poolside. Mau's is waving at me holding a barbeque. Water splashed into my thighs, and a hand held my knees. Nakatanga siya sa akin at ako naman nakayuko at napapatitig sa labi niya. The water from my hair is dripping to his cheeks.
Gumilid siya sa may kaliwa ko nasa paanan ng aking hita at nakatingala pa rin sa akin. "How are you? "Gadd asked me.
Seriously! After a few days, he would say this. Pinagkunutan ko siya ng noo.
"I'm okay," but it's like a question. "Eh, ikaw? "I fired back.
"I'm doing fine, but it would have been fine if we weren't like this. It would have been better if we didn't have this silent treatment. Hindi ko na matiis na ganito tayo" umahon siya at kumuha ng tuwalya. Tumayo rin ako and tinanggap ang tuwalya mula sa kanya.
"I am giving you a week to tell your mom, Liv. I cannot bear it that we are like this," then he kissed my cheek. I'm sure I heard someone gasp.
