Hold My Hand

4

“have a meeting this afternoon, P’. you going home early?”

    arthit receives kongpob’s texts in the middle of their meeting with the other interns at the HR department. he wasn’t able to reply because they have been busy with work and there are a lot of papers he still needs to submit and do for the university.

    he misses his boyfriend a lot. arthit hasn’t seen kongpob in 3 days and it’s doing something in his mind and heart. he can’t concentrate well, he feels agitated all the time – looking at his phone from time to time. his co-workers notice but doesn’t say anything about it which he’s grateful for.

    they text and call each other from time to time, but arthit wants to see kongpob at night when he gets home. he feels like his day is not complete without seeing that junior of his. he doesn’t want to admit it out loud but kongpob has been a constant fixture in his life he feels like he’s having withdrawals from not seeing him.

    and kongpob has been persistent and stubborn so far so him not visiting arthit at night, no matter the time, is making him think of things: has he gone tired of him? is he too busy with school that he can’t drop by at his dorm at night?

    he knows it’s all in his head but it doesn’t erase the feeling of dread in his stomach.

    has kongpob finally figure out that there are better people out there that’s not arthit?

    this sucks.

    and he’s a irritated by this as well. is kongpob too busy to see him? is it too much to ask if he wants to have dinner with his boyfriend? then again, he’s not making any effort as well, so.

    but he’s arthit; he’s shy, introverted, doesn’t know how to express himself properly, grumpy and a snob.

    by the end of the day he’s in a foul mood. he doesn’t reply to kongpob and heads straight to his dorm.

    his room feels cold, even with the lights on it feels empty. usually, he’ll have kongpob with him having dinner or watching a movie. arthit looks over at his balcony. the lights on his boyfriend’s room is on which pisses him off even more.

    arthit’s feet moves on their own. he doesn’t even realize it until he’s standing in front of kongpob’s dorm room.

    his hands move without his permission and knocks on the door. arthit hears shuffling from inside and before he knows it the door is opening and in front of him stands kongpob with a surprised expression on his face like he’s not expecting arthit to be there.

    “p’ –,”

    “eat with me,” he says. he’s glaring at kongpob when he should be smiling because he’s seeing his boyfriend after 3 days. he can’t help it, he’s pissed, but at the same time he misses his moon.

    “or are you too busy to have dinner with me as well?” he adds.

    kongpob opens and closes his mouth, and says, “i’ll go get my keys, p’.”

    they go to the cafeteria without talking. they order each other’s food and drinks and sits on a table on the far left corner. arthit starts eating and kongpob follows. they sit in comfortable silence for a while when his boyfriend speaks.

    “i wasn’t expecting you, p’arthit.”

    “why? you got any plans?” arthit raises a brow.

    “no, p’,” kongpob shakes his head, “i thought you’ll be busy with work.”

    “i am,” he says and wipes his mouth, he sips on his pink milk and continues, “haven’t it crossed your smart ass mind that I want to see you?”